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Nancy Mulligan, a divorcee from Washington state, said her seven-year marriage was never consummated. "We did other things. We'd watch out for each other. We were affectionate with each other," she said.

As my husband and I are growing older, and as we've had chats about self-control and purity with our sons, it has occurred to me that the day may (realistically will) come when the illness or death of one of us will put an end to the sexual activity of the other. The world does hold many wonderful experiences, and if I were widowed -- or if my husband were ill or simply away from home -- I could find plenty to occupy, amuse and distract me, but the desire would most likely remain and at times be acutely painful. In that case, asexuality sounds attractive. How difficult is it to abstain from something which gives no pleasure?

But for a healthy man and woman never to consummate a marriage relationship? I can't express it without sounding silly or profane, and I consider sex in that context to be both wondrous and holy. Let me just say when they use the phrase "better than sex," it's because sex is the standard by which all physical pleasure is measured. To exercise self-control for a noble purpose is admirable, but these people truly have no clue what they are missing, and I pity them.