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Man severs own penis, throws it at officers
Chicago Sun Times ^ | March 17, 2006 | Eric Herman

Posted on 03/17/2006 6:11:10 AM PST by jdm

Before cops threw the book at him, Jakub Fik threw something unusual at them -- his penis.

Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody.

"We took him out without any serious injury, with the exception of his own," said Chicago Police Sgt. Edward Dolan of the 16th District.

Doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached Fik's penis Wednesday, sources said. He was listed in good condition Thursday, according to hospital spokesman Andrew Buchanan, who declined to comment further.

Smashing car windows

Fik, who lives in the 5400 block of W. Berenice, is charged with two counts of aggravated assault and one count of criminal damage to property, said Officer Laura Kubiak. He told paramedics he was distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland, Dolan said.

Police arrived on Fik's block at 8:20 a.m. Wednesday after receiving reports he was smashing car windows, Dolan said. Fik then broke into a house down the block. A group of six or seven officers assembled in front of the house, Dolan said.

The occupants were not home, he added.

Fik was bleeding when the officers arrived and may have already cut off his organ, Dolan said.

"At that point, this guy came running out, naked, with a handful of knives . . . and started throwing knives at the police officers that were 10, 20, 30 feet away," Dolan said.

Fik threw his penis during the confrontation, too, Dolan said. He then went back into the house and re-emerged with "another handful of knives," Dolan said.

Dolan sneaked to the side of the bungalow's front steps and stunned Fik with the Taser. Fik fought back when officers went to restrain him, Dolan said.

"About 10 feet from the front porch, right on the sidewalk, was his penis," Dolan said.

Dr. Greg Bales, associate professor of urology at the University of Chicago, said severed penises are uncommon but surgery usually works.

"As long as the penis is placed on ice and reattached within a few hours, the success is usually pretty good," Bales said.


TOPICS: Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: hatewhenthathappens; lostmypenisagain; ouch; tallywhackertosser; wadlist; wodlist
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To: jdm

One cop was heard to say, "What a dick."


21 posted on 03/17/2006 6:18:31 AM PST by 1rudeboy
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To: Fintan

Don't know if this qualifies for the CNP list, since it's unclear how much clothing the gentleman was wearing, but he sure as hell is crazy.


22 posted on 03/17/2006 6:18:33 AM PST by Xenalyte (You're not the boss of Tiger Bot Hesh!)
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To: jdm

What a dick.


23 posted on 03/17/2006 6:18:33 AM PST by Unkosified (Patiently waiting for Ted Kennedy's manslaughter trial for 36 years now.)
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To: thoughtomator

Fik used to rhyme with dick...no mas


24 posted on 03/17/2006 6:18:48 AM PST by ErnBatavia (Meep Meep)
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To: jdm

"He was listed in good condition"


There is NO WAY he can be in "good condition".

Being in good condition means at the very least you still got your penis.


25 posted on 03/17/2006 6:19:10 AM PST by Berlin_Freeper (ETERNAL SHAME on the Treasonous and Immoral Democrats!)
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To: cripplecreek

What a weenie! what a dick!


26 posted on 03/17/2006 6:19:28 AM PST by buck61 (luv6060)
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To: jdm

You pick it up.

No, you pick it up.

I ain't touching it.

You pick it up.

No, you pick it up.

I ain't touching it.

You pick it up.

No, you pick it up.

I ain't touching it.

You pick it up.

No, you pick it up.

I ain't touching it.

You pick it up.

No, you pick it up.

I ain't touching it.

You pick it up.

No, you pick it up.

I ain't touching it.

You pick it up.

No, you pick it up.

I ain't touching it.

You pick it up.

No, you pick it up.

I ain't touching it.




27 posted on 03/17/2006 6:19:30 AM PST by usmcobra (I always sing Karaoke the way it is meant to be sung, drunk, badly, and in Japanese)
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To: jdm

Cutting your nose to spite your face comes to mind....


28 posted on 03/17/2006 6:20:54 AM PST by NRA1995 (If feminists are so smart, why do they need masturbation workshops?)
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To: jdm

That'll show 'em. At least he effectively removed himself from the gene pool. Do you have to die to get nominated for the Darwin Award?


29 posted on 03/17/2006 6:21:31 AM PST by metmom (Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
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To: jdm; Owl_Eagle

The Bears need to get this guy a frickin' contract and put him at defensive tackle!

I don't care what anyone says - this guy cut his own flipping penis off and went back in to get more knives! That's f'ing incredible!


30 posted on 03/17/2006 6:21:35 AM PST by Rutles4Ever
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To: jdm
"As long as the penis is placed on ice and reattached within a few hours, the success is usually pretty good," Bales said.

Thanks for the "tip"...
31 posted on 03/17/2006 6:21:45 AM PST by beezdotcom
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To: jdm; martin_fierro; xsmommy
Just Damn! This guy doesn't give up.

Is this what they call "hurling a personal invective"???

32 posted on 03/17/2006 6:22:30 AM PST by Willie Green (Go Pat Go!!!)
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To: jdm; exile; Xenalyte; pissant; Larry Lucido; BadKittySF; Maximus of Texas; r-q-tek86; ...

 

Here we go again...


33 posted on 03/17/2006 6:22:58 AM PST by Fintan (Did you really think I could post such insightful replies if I actually read the article???)
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To: Excuse_My_Bellicosity
The old saying, his brains must all be in the head of his D
no longer applies to this gentleman.
34 posted on 03/17/2006 6:23:05 AM PST by buck61 (luv6060)
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To: paulcissa

you posted "gee wiz"

I bet he will be saying that over and over during the healing process.


35 posted on 03/17/2006 6:23:14 AM PST by Global2010
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To: beezdotcom

Coming soon to a Ginsu Knives commercial near you.


36 posted on 03/17/2006 6:23:28 AM PST by gov_bean_ counter (Self appointed RNC Press Secretary for Smarmy Sound Bites.)
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To: usmcobra

LMAO,,,,ROF


37 posted on 03/17/2006 6:23:56 AM PST by meanie monster (http://guptonator.myvideochat.net)
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To: Junior

Distraught over a problem with his girlfriend in Poland...yeah, he sure showed her. Cut off his penis. That'll teach her a lesson!


38 posted on 03/17/2006 6:23:59 AM PST by cjshapi
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To: Xenalyte

Always bring a TASER to a cockfight.


39 posted on 03/17/2006 6:24:01 AM PST by humblegunner (If you're gonna die, die with your boots on.)
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To: jdm

Well here comes Jakub with his pecker in his hand
He's a one-ball man and he's off to the rodeo


40 posted on 03/17/2006 6:24:03 AM PST by NRA1995 (If feminists are so smart, why do they need masturbation workshops?)
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