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You know, Saint Patrick's Day is a time of reflection. We should stop and think about where Saint Patrick's Day came from.

As everyone knows, Patrick's good friend, the Easter Bunny, gave the Saint's mother a basket of flowers on the first day of May, many, many years ago. General George Washington, feeling slighted by the gift (he was Saint Patrick's closest confidant, after all), exploded many rockets and bombs in protest on a hot day in July, nearly killing a groundhog and a few trees. Patrick and the Easter Bunny heard the explosion and decided to suss out the source. The smoke could be seen in the distance, and it took much walking. After a half an hour, the pair became fatigued. "Let us take some time off from our laboring," said the Easter Bunny. "Why should anybody else have to work?" he added. The problem was that they had ventured in the wrong direction to begin with--unbeknownst to Saint Patrick and the Easter Bunny. They were lost. Ignorant of that fact, the pair enjoyed a good sitting.

They enjoyed their rest so much that neither noticed the sun quickly setting behind them. Patrick, clever as he was, started a fire and began searching for dinner. He returned with a handful of red berries, two flasks of water, and a wild pumpkin. They gobbled the berries up right away, but didn't know what to do with the pumpkin. "You know, if you hollowed it out," said the Easter Bunny,"that would make an awesome lamp!"......