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Hey, I adopted a very OLD male HUGE yellow lab from the local shelter. I went there to get a companion for my setter, and saw him.

He is precious. When I got to the shelter I looked at lots of dogs, but kept going back to his cage, he just gave me that look "Get me out of here."

He is so old his teeth are worn to nubs, his back is an arch, and he has arthritus. I have been treating him for all his problems.

He would have been euthanized, nobody will adopt an old sick dog -- except me, I have DUMBASS written across my forehead.

So, I decided to give this old guy a good life for his (probably) few remaining years. He is so awesome, and I love him. But I can't deal with a dog peeing all over my house, I have other stuff more important to deal with (and limited time to do so). I have also provided him with great shelter outside -- he is NOT neglected.

Well, son, you give me instructions on how to stop this peeing and I'll do it. In the meantime, you want to pay for the steam cleaner to clean my carpets where he gets excited and pees all over them?

Now, how DO you train an old dog not to do this? Hey, I'll try it. I want his old bones laying next to my fireplace when it's cold outside.

Go ahead, lecture me, give me a lesson on how to do this.

If your instructions work, I won't send you a bill for the carpet cleaning. I'm waiting . . .

Keep him on a leash, particularly when he first comes in... if he sniffs and acts like he's going to pee say 'no' or 'leave it' and give a correction. Tell him to lay down and stay wherever you are and keep an eye out. Praise him when he's calm and quiet.

If he really isn't potty trained at all, then take him outside pretty frequently and praise him when he goes outside. He'll figure it out. It's not rocket science.

And I'm a chick, and not your son.