Roads
Had I known where the roads would lead
early in my years
I would not have had the guts to face
the many rivers of tears.
Foresight is not a gift, common sense is
since I lacked a lot of both
my heart is tattered and covered in scars.
I do not point the finger
at others to blame or shame
there’s been far, too much of these
pointless, endless, games
that had to end before the toll
of human wreakage grew to great.
Since the road was paved by me
unsound decisions many times
there are high spots along the way
my children for which there is no rhyme.
The gems of life, of family ties,
tethered by living in and out of strife
grown strong in places, weak in some
the map shown on the face.
For each and everyone of us,
the scars are there, right behind the eyes
for there the soul is shown to all
oh, it cannot hide.
Our lives a woven tapestry
a ragged quilt sometimes
patched and mended in the places
that were not very strong
coloured by the laughter,
blended by the tears,
colours muted in the valleys
of the living years.
Brilliant reds expose the happiest of the times
tone on tone expressed the blandness
of bored and suffering years
green patches of hope show through
the hills and valleys around
with little patches of daffodils
poking their heads from the frozen ground.
Hope springs eternal it’s said
I do believe it true
for truth cannot be hid
when a grandchild comes to you
to spread their opened arms
to give a hug or two,
God bless the little ones
who come into our lives
to greet a grandmother …
Hello Gram, how are you
here’s a hug for you
the warmth their little bodies
give a glow to the soul, a light.
By gosh, the roads I took were bumpy
sometimes in forest dark
no glimpse of light could I see
the darkest of the dark was
when the spirit went out of me.
I fought the demons in the dark for the heart of me.
Somewhere there remained a small glow
deep in my spirit soul deep
a war was waged for my life
the demons fought like hell,
but at the tunnel’s end I saw
a bright and shinning light
I walked and crawled on hands
and knees like a babe to a new life.
One step up two back
start, stop, move on
some steps came to be
a structure to help the climb
to help the focus zero in
principals above personalities
not a perfect remedy
just acceptance is enough
to smooth out the rocky roads
traveled o’er the years.
And a place to have some peace
that had escaped me over some years.
Some joy, some laughter, some pain,
some mundane, but put it all together
and bentfeather is its name.
bentfeather (c) 03.24.06
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