You should make a beer bong with a funnel and some tygon tubing, dump about 1/2 pint of Wild Turkey 101 proof pure Kentucky bourbon into the bottom of the funnel, fill the remainder with beer. Perhaps a nice import to complement the bourbon should be considered. Place open end of tygon tubing in mouth (note: if you try to put the other end of the tubing in your mouth, you will spill the whole contents of the funnel onto your shorts, so be very sure about this part before proceeding). Quaff the mixture as quickly as possible. With practice you can accomplish this without using your throat muscles at all, just a straight esophagus (um, throat that is).
Repeat at least 4 times. You should buy your quart (that's two pints) prior to beginning. You may have difficulty driving aftwards.
This will make you very sexy and attractive to all the girls. Some may act like you are not attractive, but they are only playing hard to get. You can actually sing quite well at this point also, and probably even make up very clever songs right on the spot! If this doesn't seem to be working, try whispering witty things. You can even do this a suprisingly long distances. Your whispers are quite focused right now, and only the intended person can hear what you say.
You are dazzlingly funny and quite the good dancer also. Your coordination is sure to impress all those around you! Climbing on things while dancing is probably a really good idea too!
Don't worry about some other guy who seems to be with the girl(s) of your choice. You are much better looking, and you are tough as nails, maybe even bulletproof!
Have fun! Post bail, I mean pictures when you get out, I mean back!
Bye now!
LOL!