He did what with me? And with a 4ft didgeridoo!
Posted on 02/16/2006 6:46:21 PM PST by iPod Shuffle
Half-naked bricklayer on a bender lunged at police with 4ft didgeridoo
By David Sapsted
(Filed: 17/02/2006)
A bricklayer brandished a didgeridoo at police when they were called to a disturbance at a seaside town, a court heard yesterday.
Ryan Jones, 23, ran at them with the 4ft instrument before being sprayed with CS gas and handcuffed.
He was drunk, half-naked and covered in blood after fighting with a flatmate, Hove Crown Court was told.
After Jones admitted a charge of affray, Philip Wakeham, defending, said: "If one were to compile a list of items to take up to commit affray, I would have thought a didgeridoo would come somewhere near the bottom. He did not strike any police officer at all."
He said the trouble started when Jones and Michael Davids returned to their flat after a drinking session. They came to blows after Mr Davids mentioned Jones's ex-lover.
"The breaking point was the mention of a man with whom it was thought his former girlfriend had a relationship," Mr Wakeham said.
Rajesh Pabary, prosecuting, said that when the officers arrived at the flat in Seaford, East Sussex, last June Jones "armed himself with the didgeridoo and shouted, 'I'll f***ing have you and any copper who dares to come in.' He continued to shout in a similar vein, swinging the didgeridoo at windows. They did not smash but bowed a little.
"Police sprayed captor gas to try to disarm him but he persisted. He proceeded out of the front door and started threatening officers with the didgeridoo.
"Officers told him to put it down but he continued. Eventually he was sprayed with captor gas again and he dropped the didgeridoo."
Jones was ordered to complete a 12-month community order, do 180 hours' unpaid labour and pay £150 prosecution costs.
Sentencing him, Recorder Ian Wilson said: "This was clearly a very unpleasant experience for those who had to attend the scene. It was clearly very frightening."
Afterwards Jones said: "The police took the didgeridoo away. I had only just learned how to play it."
• The Australian aboriginal didgeridoo is one of the oldest musical instruments known to man.
Black pudding alert.
:D
Ohh I don't know... when you're wielding instruments it's all about 'reach'.
Headline of the year???
He did what with me? And with a 4ft didgeridoo!
All together now...
Yeah. Do you think our drunks make the news over there?
Yeah, but at some point agility is sacrificed for reach.
My money still rests with the cool lookin' dude in the brimmed hat over Ooter in the lederhosen lined with silk so they wouldn't chafe him in the summer. LOL (a National Lampoon reference)
I can just imagine wandering thru as a tourist and seeing some dude with a didgeridoo, swinging the damn thing at the police who are temporarily taking him seriously while attempting to not fall to the ground in side-splitting laughter, just before he gets hosed down with mace and cuffed. What would one make of that?
You pucker and blow and that sucker will buzz
And Growwwlll like it's full of carpet fuzz
It's the coolest sound that ever was...
and that's what a didgeridoo does.
That's what a didgeridoes do.
Tom Chapin
There's an old Australian stockman, lying, dying,
and he gets himself up on one elbow,
and he turns to his mates,
who are gathered 'round him and he says:
Watch me wallabys feed mate.
Watch me wallabys feed.
They're a dangerous breed mate.
So watch me wallabys feed.
Altogether now!
Tie me kangaroo down sport,
tie me kangaroo down.
Tie me kangaroo down sport,
tie me kangaroo down.
Keep me cockatoo cool, Curl,
keep me cockatoo cool.
Don't go acting the fool, Curl,
just keep me cockatoo cool.
Altogether now!
Take me koala back, Jack,
take me koala back.
He lives somewhere out on the track, Mac,
so take me koala back.
Altogether now!
Let me Abos go loose, Lou, *
let me Abos go loose.
They're of no further use, Lou,
so let me Abos go loose.
Altogether now!
Mind me platypus duck, Bill,
mind me platypus duck.
Don't let him go running amok, Bill,
mind me platypus duck.
Altogether now!
Play your digeridoo, Blue,
play your digeridoo.
Keep playing 'til I shoot thro' Blue,
play your digerydoo.
Altogether now!
Tan me hide when I'm dead, Fred,
tan me hide when I'm dead.
So we tanned his hide when he died Clyde,
(Spoken) And that's it hanging on the shed.
Altogether now!
Tie me kangaroo down sport,
tie me kangaroo down.
Tie me kangaroo down sport,
tie me kangaroo down.
That's quite a title.
With a title like that, you don't even need a story.
It really paints a picture.
think a didgeridoo is like a SkiDoo or SeaDoo except made for riding through ditches.""
Are you pulling my leg?
It is a musical instrument, with a very unique sound. Sorta sounds like a bassoon, but different. I think it is one of the oldest known music instruments in the world.
Tan me hide when I'm dead, Fred
Tan me hide when I'm dead
So we tanned his hide when he died, Clyde
and That's it hangin' on the shed
Altogether now!
Tie me kangaroo down, sport
Tie me kangaroo down
Tie me kangaroo down, sport
Tie me kangaroo down
>>>"A moose once blew my didgeridoo..."<<<
"That right there is funny, I don't care who you are, that's funny"
Larry the Cable Guy while shopping for a didgeridoo
"A moose once blew my didgeridoo..."
Did he finish you off or just tease you?
I had to click on this thread just to figure out what the title meant!
Ours seem to prefer baseball bats and tire irons and our police shoot them.
Fiddlstix, you didn't start on time.
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