I hate Valentines Day

[F16Fighter]

I like your "criteria."

"If a guy wants a woman to make him feel special - he has to make her feel special also. AND ... vice-a-versa."

Simple equation, ain't it?

And little respect goes a long way...

[F16Fighter]

YOU?? "Too shy"?? Uh-huh ;-)

[onyx]

BLUSHING now.

[F16Fighter]

I quit.

Good night.

[Dashing Dasher]

That's how it works in my house....

;-)

[Richard Kimball]

Valentine's day is not a holiday. It's a test.

For men:

The single rose in a vase isn't romantic. It's cheap. She knows it.

If your wife/girlfriend works in an office with other women, you'd better pray to God that the flowers you send are at least as large as the ones the other women get.

The women oohing over the Vermont Teddy Bear are not real women. They are a very rare race called "Wishwomen." They only exist in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue and Miller Lite commercials.

Jewelry is always good for a wife. If she's not your wife, unless you're planning on making her your wife, forget jewelry.

Negligee is a good gift if you're intimate. If she's a little heavy, get a long, low cut gown. If she's thin, go for a baby doll shorty. These should be given at home, not sent to the office. Giving a negligee at home does not relieve you of the requirement to send flowers to the office.
Good places to get negligee: Victoria's Secret, upscale women's clothing stores designed for her age.

Bad places to get negligees: Fredericks of Hollywood, L. L. Bean, Motherhood Maternity.

Proper fabrics for negligee: silk, satin in red, pink, white, black or ivory.

Improper fabrics: flannel in plaid or camouflage.

Tips for women:

No matter what the ads say, if it's in the Avon catalog, we don't want it.

As long as it's worn just for your guy, there is NOTHING he considers slutty.

Negligee for you IS a gift for him.

[arasina]

g'night Pookie. ;o)

[Richard Kimball]

Thanks. I never give a stuffed animal. I'm married now, so gifts are restricted to one woman (plus my daughters and my mom), but when I was single, I always thought a teddy bear as a gift made the giver look effeminate. My daughters quit wanting them at about twelve. I posted my rules for valentine giving at #146. Let me know if you see errors. I spent years compiling this list. Many lives were lost.

[Dashing Dasher]

You are a wise man. I enjoyed your rules and believe you are correct.


;-)

[Pukin Dog]

Pookie?

I got a headache trying to pick which joke to use. Please, no pet names on my threads, huh? Get a room is right.

Yuck!

[caver]

Your test is accurate!

[Dashing Dasher]

Please, no pet names on my threads, huh?

Seems Puke doesn't like the use of pet names on his threads - unless of course the pertain to him.

Let's see.... what can we call Puke that's better than Puke?!? Pukie?

[Pukin Dog]

Oh, so now you insult the fine moniker of VF-143? We were almost friends.....

[Dashing Dasher]

We will always be almost friends.

[phantomworker]

Pet names? Once I mispelled his name and called him Punkin. He liked that...

[FlashBack]

Awesome post PD...You should try delivering furniture sometime!
Not lately, but in my youth......

[SquirrelKing]