History: Pittsburgh was founded in 1762 by a band of seven howler monkeys that escaped from a Philadelphia circus.
Main exports: Bratwurst, aluminum foil.
Celebrity birthplace: Andy Warhol (left town, went to New York); Bill Cullen (left town, went into TV game shows; Robinson Jeffers (great poet, left town, went to California); Ken Griffey Jr. (who?); Heinz Ketchup.
Legacy: Proud history of steelmaking.
Future: Proud history of steelmaking.
Favorite color: Rust.
City mascots: Carrier pigeon, dodo bird, unicorn.
Little-known fact No. 1: Citywide cholesterol count higher than average credit score.
Little-known fact No. 2 (version No. 1): Named Peachtown, but local Anti-Sissy League made it tougher-sounding Pittsburgh.
Football team logo: Colorful abstract design reminiscent of entry into 1956 House of the Future design competition.
Local seafood: Mud eel chowder.
Favorite movie: Steel Magnolias.
No. 1 Steeler fan pickup line at local bars: Uh, does this look infected?
Kielbasa, not bratwurst. Geesh, get your sausages right.
SD
No. 1 Seahawk fan pickup line at Seattle bars on Sunday night:
"Let's get out of here babe, you and I can lay down just like our team did!"
!!!!!! "Shine, Perishing Republic"