Hmmmm... Maybe "2 onions" doesn't actually mean the two absolutely biggest onions I can get holt of...
I got bigger ham to fry right now, chumpette. Never take yer dog's advice on how much ham to put in. It will be topologically improbable to actually fit the stuff into the pie pan.
Also I don't mean to be a girlie-man but it is right tearful around here right now.
Later