http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1539167/posts
WEAK IN THE NEEDS
By ELIZABETH HAYT
December 12, 2005 -- LAST spring was an unbearably dry season - and I don¹t mean weather-wise. Without a steady man in my life, I hadn¹t had sex in several months. Now in my 40s, an age when a woman realizes that her youthful ability to turn male heads was something she once took (wrongly) for granted, I worried whether my celibacy was less a matter of circumstance than the start of something more permanent.
Online dating offered a short-term fix. Browsing the nerve.com personals, I found "Word Guy," a 38-year-old poet who, according to his ad, was looking for "fun." In his photo, he appeared clean-cut: fair hair, wire-rimmed glasses, white oxford shirt with rolled-up cuffs, an athletic build and healthy-looking teeth.
Had I been looking for true love, I might have ignored him since, to me, being a poet is synonymous with being penniless, and my romantic radar is permanently set on guys with secure day jobs. But given that my immediate needs were otherwise, I was not about to discriminate against a charity case.
Contrary to Darwinian theory - or common sense - studs are not the only ones who score. Schlubs do all right, too. But it isn't desire that drives women into their arms. Pity does.
I "winked at" (Nerve speak for "contacted") Word Guy and he replied, sparking a session of e-foreplay. By the third night of feverish tap-tapping, it was clearly time to go live. When Word Guy IM-ed me to say he'd been fantasizing about having me in his bed, my response was, "What's your address?"
Dashing from my apartment in black lingerie, black peep-toe pumps and a black Gucci trench, along with a black tote into which I'd stuffed my little, black dachshund, adding a final touch to my Upper East Side look, I stood on Park Avenue - an overage chick-lit cliché - madly flagging a taxi.
(snip)
Is this person attempting to submit public resumes for a hopeful career as an semi-intellectual soft-core porn scriptwriter? Sheesh!
ELIZABETH HAYT IS EASY.
This seems to be summing up her career, from what I've seen.
What's the matter with this chick,too proud to take the subway?
I have little doubt she has a German Shepherd too.