Max, I'd be happy to give you a loan -- and you're in luck! I'm about to come into a rather large sum of money. With my Anglo-Saxon roots, who'd have imagined I'm related to a Nigerian prince? I'm doing him a little favor, then I'll be able to help you.
First, I have to help a Christian student from the West Bank. He's getting his business degree and plans to spread the Gospel, and he wrote to me seeking a scholarship. I don't know why. I don't know him, and until the Prince contacted me, I had no prospects of money. But I do like to help a good cause.
Just send me your full name, social security number, bank account number, and credit card numbers. Please include those three little numbers on the back of your credit cards -- they are so useful! Once I do a credit check, and I get my money from Nigeria, we'll be ready!
By the way, have any collateral?