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Updates from Dave Barry 24 Blog:

To summarize the situation: Last week, in downtown Los Angeles -- which is famous for this kind of traffic snafu -- the terrorists attacked the Russian president's motorcade, which also contained the First Lady. The terrorists used machine guns, a missile and a flamethrower, apparently purchased at one of the many Terrorist Depot stores in Southern California, but CTU thwarted the attack, and now the terrorists are threatening, for like the 300th time, to unleash the Fatal Deadly Lethal Toxic Nerve Gas Canisters of Death, which have been trucked all over Southern California and are currently on a VIP tour of Knott's Berry Farm. Jack Bauer was not involved in the thwarting because he was locked in a room with a bomb, which blew up and pretty much knocked down the building, but of course it did not in any way harm Jack.

Meanwhile back at CTU HQ the Hobbit has been removed from power via a Section 112. The president is still an idiot (I mean the one in the show). Jack's hot new girlfriend is still totally missing from the plot. Audrey continues to play a major role in the plot. They are trying to make us like Audrey this year by not having her weep everytime somebody farts, but it is not going to work.Edgar continues to grow exponentially and is currently the size of New Zealand.

March 7, 2006

So last night at 10 I was asleep, because I had to get up really early today, and my phone rang. It was my son, who rarely calls, so instantly I knew that something was very, very wrong. And something was.

"They killed Edgar!" he said.

And my immediate thought was: "Ohmigod! Now the terrorists have harpoons!"

No, really, after I got over the shock, my thought was that it must have been a heckuvan episode. That thought was confirmed this morning at the airport when I read all 786,000 of your comments, and learned that not only did Jack shoot somebody in the thigh, but there was a gas attack at CTU HQ (which apparently has the same level of security as a Dairy Queen) AND a trailer for X-Men 3 AND a return by Jack's whiny annoying daughter AND -- most exciting of all -- a new model of the Ipex brand brassiere.

You people did a FABULOUS job of covering these develoments. Thank you. Now I'm going to get on an airplane, and think about Edgar, and be sad, but also relieved that Edgar is not on the airplane.