First tip. Tell your wife to stop also. Second tip, cold turkey. You have to get the nicotine out of your system.
Cold turkey - it's rough - but it is necessary but after thirty years he must have tried to quit before, if not well that is another story for sure.
Lung cancer is a bitch of a way to die the worst part is that you die, game over, everything is lost - plus what it does to your family - most die drowning in their own blood sounds like alot of fun, real sweet final memory for the family.
I have found Nicorette (or its generic equivalent) a good way to cut down, especially when I don't want to join the crew huffing and puffing at the back door during working hours.
I haven't yet tried to quit completely, but when I do I'll definitely use Nicorette for the first 30 to 60 days.
I didn't find the patch to work at all, the gum is better. Your mileage may vary.
It seems to me you have to get the behavior of reaching for a butt out of your system first.