Posted on 01/06/2006 4:58:05 PM PST by scott7278
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding…
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
Officer: Don’t have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can’t do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
Don’t Mess With Old Ladies!
You give them an enema and bury them in shoebox
They are very cute
The young bull says, “Let’s run down and surprise one of those cows!”
The old bull looks down the hill at the cows, glances up at the sky, chews some, peers over at the youngster, out of the corner of his eye. winks and replies, “Let’s walk down and surprise them all!”
LOL.
A fellow came in for a haircut.
As the robot began to cut his hair it asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man replied, "130."
So the robot proceeded to make conversation about physics, astronomy, investments, insurance, and so on.
The man listened intently and said, "This is really cool."
Later, another gent came in for a haircut and the robot asked him as it began the haircut, "What's your IQ?" The man responded, "100."
So the robot started talking about football, baseball, and so on.
The man thought to himself, Wow, this is really cool."
Later on, a third guy came in to the barbershop. As with the others, the robot barber asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man replied, "70."
The robot then said, "So, I understand you Democrats are really excited about Hillary running for president?"
gee thanks for the reply, I was beginning to think I was the only one here!
lol.....I have never gotten out of a ticket, even the one time I was pulled over by the cop and asked out and refused him, he said he wanted to see who was driving the pretty little red car, and I was less than nice to him, so he said, I am going to give you a ticket and say you were going 55 miles an hour in a 25 zone....I argued with him that I was in first gear, just turning out of the tract from the neighborhood from a complete stop and that was impossible and he said, I know it is, but since you are making it impossible for me to ask you out, you have the choice, pay the fine, go to traffic school or go out with me.....I went to traffic school.
Maybe I should have made up something like this lady.
What is lutefish? I saw a thread a few days ago someone was asking if anyone had tried it. I have never heard of it until here on FR.
Surfing around,half watching an old Journey concert on VH1 classic.
I probably would have arranged a date then shown up with his superior officer!
Post #66 is pretty cute too
Hey Hey!!
Howdy!
See? This is why I've always been opposed to dating much younger men...... Too fickle and flighty. *chuckle*
Evening y'all.
looks a little quiet tonight....what did I miss?
Howz it going dude? Are we all stuck at home again on a Friday night? *snicker*
I guess so! LOL! I've been so tired lately that I wouldn't go out anyway.
You only get your hair cut twice a year?
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