Eggnog, tinsel, falling snow
Buttered rum & mistletoe
Trimming trees and hanging lights
The sound of carolers fills the night
Shopping hours long and hard
Visa phones and cancels card
Unpaid bills and mounting debt
Family gathers, depression sets
Drinking starts, harsh words are said
Dysfunction rears its yuletide head
Argument turns to shovin'
Drunkin' brother punches cousin
Tree tips over, popping lights
Curtains catch, house ignites
No one hears the reindeer cries
Wedged in chimney, Santa dies
Though he kicked and did perspire
His chestnuts roasted on an open fire