Posted on 12/15/2005 4:44:16 AM PST by secret garden
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 01, 2003
RE: Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00pm. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!
Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Patty
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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 02, 2003
RE: Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies toany other employees who are not Christians or those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree present. No Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment. Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family.
Patty
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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 03, 2003
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only"; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody? Forget about the gifts exchange, no gifts exchange are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.
NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED
Patty.
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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
DATE: October 04, 2003
RE: Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party- or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from The dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table. To the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross-dressing allowed though. We will have booster seats for short people. Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest for those people with high blood pressure to taste first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts.
Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!?
Patty
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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Damn Employees
DATE: October 05, 2003
RE: The Damn Holiday Party
Vegetarian crapheads I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your damn salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die,
The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!
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FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: October 06, 2003
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Happy Holiday
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I don't know about the cities.........there aren't any in this school district.........Heck all the larger towns still have Christmas parades and Nativities on public land. And some even have Carolling on the "Square"
(For the matter so does Dover, and several other large cities and town in Delaware and Maryland)
When we were up in Salisbury there were a few spits of snow around 11:30.......other than that, nothing but rain, although it is really raw - the wind is coming form the east right off the water.
Those are good ones!!!!
The Night Before Christmas was a new one on me.
Exactly right. A for you Moochie.
I love that!
We did a bit of Shopping this evening and had dinner at the Cheesecake Factory........is there a more perfect dessert in the world?
NO!
Pumpkin pecan cheesecake........ the bottom was like pecan pie......with pumpkin cheesecake as the top layer.......
That actually sounds like a ruination of perfectly good cheesecake.
I do NOT eat anything pumpkin.........YUCK - GROSS - EWWWW
haha........well I had ya there for a minute......... it was incredible -
I love the idea of the pecan/cheesecake combo - it's just the pumpkin that turns me off.
Speaking of pecans..........I've got to get shelling some in the morning. I don't know how many pounds of them I've got, and I gave a mess of them away last Sunday. The guys at the Lodge love me, and know I love pecans...I'm almost afraid to go in there this weekend, because there will probably be another bag (or 2 or 3) waiting for me.
TexasCowboy used to give me his pecans each year - he got tons of them from salesmen.......
*****SIGH****
didn't mean to stir up a TC thing on you, my FRiend.
The guys at the Lodge giving them to me have trees all around their houses.
Oh no, all our memories of him are good ones - I never mind thinking of him at all. Knowing he isn't in pain is the best gift I've gotten in a long time. Thanks though, I appreciate the concern.
After bringing home the robotic insect from China and programming it to drink tea, he proclaimed it a "cha toy ant."
A very loving sentiment.
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