LOL...........I like 'em, but I can't argue with your take on Skynyrd's "Freebird": bombastic, overblown, overrated, cliche'-ridden crap. Ask any of us rock guitarists what the running joke is for ANY cover band....and we'd ALL agree with your "keys jammed into their eyes" thing.
BTW.......how's mom?????
My hostility was engendered by my first fiance, who made me observe a respectful five seconds of silence after "Free Bird" and "Stairway to Heaven." (How HE avoided keys to the eyes is a mystery.) He tried for 30 seconds, but I found that a physical impossibility.
Plus, whoever sang on "Free Bird" had a BAD sinus thing going . . . the whine in his voice makes me want to slap him.
Mom's doing okay - chemo is a little tough on her, but so far so good. Thanks for asking!
One important thing to remember is that it's time to leave the party when you hear a slurred voice yelling "Hey, man, plan some Skynnard, man..."