Anne's advice on dealing with followup to hearing about her friends' death, was spot-on. It's too bad the family feels such shame about the cause of their daughter/sister's death that they feel unable to share her passing and their pain.
I hadn't seen "Sean" or his sister "Meghan" for several years...
Since the writer refers to herself as a friend, let's assume she means just that--she was, at some point, friends with the lady that died. She let several years go by without having any contact. What a great friend!
This hits really close to home for me. After my first son was born, my phone stopped ringing--entirely. Several people that I'd been very close to--including one I'd considered asking to be Godmother to my son--stopped calling, stopped returning my calls, never stopped by. The loneliness I experienced not only put a big ol' damper on what should have been a very happy time for me, it changed me forever.