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"Why David Hasselhoff Should Be Your Only Idol"
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 "Hassel-Fro" Just imagine all the crazy things you could do with a fro like this. You could let hurricane winds blow right through it. Which would probably slow the damn thing down a bit. You could also let birds use it as a temporary nest for their babies. And It may be even possible to smuggle some type of illegal package with a fro like this. |
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 "Wall Power" How many people do you know that have the power to knock down a damn wall? None, and there's only one man that could. And his name is David Michael Hasselhoff. Not only did he knock down the wall, but he give a country it's freedom back. He also sang a song just as the wall was coming down. |
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 "Hassel Chest" Did you know that this chest can take a bullet and steal your girlfriend at the same time. The hairs on this man's chest has more talent than the hairs on your damn head. I think? Anyway, women just love a strong chest. And because David has a good chest on his shoulders. He can get all the hot chicks he wants. |
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 "Knight Rider" Every single little boy loved Knight Rider when they were a kid. This show had a cool lead actor, a cool car, and a cool something else which I can't remember right now. But, David managed to talk to an f'ing car throughout the entire show, and not look like an idiot. Now, how many actors can do that? |
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 "Great Albums" This guy has the singing voice of a women who's really a man. Once you listen to his albums, your life will change. His voice is so strong that even America couldn't handle it. They told David to go somewhere else. Only because he could start an exodus with just his singing. Those Germans are really blessed. |
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 "Chick Magnet" We all know David has the power to work with hot chicks for no apparent reason. Take this show that he once did called, Watch Babes As They Run Slowly For Man's Viewing Pleasure. David would stand around, minding his damn business. And out of nowhere, a babe in a bikini claiming to be a lifeguard would just start talking to him. Now that's a true American idol. |
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 "Likes Coleman" This picture proves that David is truly a nice guy. You can tell that he really likes Gary Coleman. His not even faking a Hollywood smile. When people stand next Gary, they usually laugh at him or make fun of him. But not David, he's too sincere. Even though he's giving him the fake thumbs ups. |
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 "PacHoff" How many people in the world have their damn head superimposed as PacMan? Not many dammit, but David Hasselhoff does. And if you don't believe me, click here and see for yourself. He also has other videogames like, Hoff Invaders and Hoffer. This should further prove his true icon status for many years to come. |
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 "Nick Fury" When I saw Nick Fury Agent of Shield for the first time. I almost jump out of a window out of pure excitement. He's acting is so damn good in this movie. You honestly can't even tell that David Hasselhoff is playing Nick Fury. Even though, Nick Fury looks like David Hasselhoff wearing a damn eye patch. Do yourself a favor and watch the greatest movie ever. |
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 "Paper AirHoff" When Hasselhoff's face graces a stupid paper airplane. You just know that he has become a living legend. This paper airplane even comes with some instructions. And if you don't believe me, just click here. He even smiles on the P.A, and he's smiling just for you. There aren't a lot of famous actors that can grace a paper airplane like David. And if they can, they can go Hoff themselves. |
