Posted on 11/09/2005 7:13:45 AM PST by PaulaB
Good morning...Wednesday is here!!!
Let's have a good laugh to get through it
Lucky. Have fun...
They play in Philly.
Moved to Las Vegas in '98.
You know you work for Corporate America if...
* You've sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.
* Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
* your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.
* The company logo on your badge is drawn on a post-it note.
* You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.
* Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.
* Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.
* You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
* You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive.
* It's dark when you drive to and from work.
* Fun is whenissues are assigned to someone else.
* "Communication" is something your group is having problems with.
* Nepotism is encouraged.
* You read this entire list andunderstood it
I know but if you could score
us a private jet..then the party is on
we'll leave work early
pick up everyone on this thread
and head to the game...
wait I just thought of something
DD could you fly down here and pick us
;)
I guess that would depend on the level of "firmness"...
In answer to your question...
yes I am going to send something to that mail box
I've met Sylvia.
You are a good team!
* your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.
Memory Stick.
No - but I do have access to a private jet.
Let me work on him... I mean it.
;-)
How to Have Fun During the Work Day
1. Leave the copy machine set to 99 copies, reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper.
2. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go".
3. Reply to everything someone says with "That's what YOU think."
4. Practice making fax and modem noises.
5. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and copy them to your boss.
6. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."
7. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
8. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
9. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping the bottom of your chin. When nearly
done, announce, "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
10. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
11. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook
and mutter something about "psychological profiles."
DASHER PRANK #6
We have this email group about flying stuff and this one guy always talks down about women... and you know how I loathe that.
At one point, he was bragging (on a list of 3000 people, no less) about his new Russian girlfriend and how she was calling him all of these adorable little pet names. He basically wanted to know what they meant.
Well, I was getting pretty tired of his game and signed on as my alter ego - Olga Dashing Dashersky.
I told him that I was a Russian Sweetie and where I was from - if a man wanted to impress his woman - he called her his little Sooka.
Yes, as you may have guessed, Sooka means whore.
He sent me a private email right before his next date THANKING ME and telling me how happy he was to catch my email before he walked out the door. He said, and I quote, "I have a bottle of champagne in one hand, a bouquet of flowers in the other, and I am going to walk through the door and call her MY LITTLE SOOKA!"
Two days later - he finally emailed me back and said, "VERY FUNNY" Apparently she slapped him - and then started laughing her butt off - assuming he had no idea what he had just said.
We never heard another word about his love life again.
Thanks, Olga!
;-)
DD
LOL...good job!
very good, DD! I'm so proud of your feminine mastery in the art of giving good pranks.
Things That Sound Dirty at the Office but Aren't
Brought to you by IMOCO Publishing
www.officefunnies.com
* I need to whip it out by 5.
* Mind if I use your laptop?
* Just stick it in my box.
* If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!
* I want it on my desk, NOW!!!
* Hmmmm...I think it's out of fluid!
* My equipment is so old, it takes forever to finish.
* It's an entry-level position.
* When do you think you'll be getting off today?
* It's not fair...I do all the work while he just sits there!
* Have you checked your hard disk for viruses?
* I've increased my RAM for more power.
My favorite!
Damn computer went down on me again!
LOL Olga you are from this day forward ;)
I know you got some good stories ;)
This is the one that gave me the reputation of someone not to be messed with - I believe.
My nickname (code name?) amongst the insiders - has always been "olga".
PS.. there are PLENTY MORE!!!
I'm just on #7 now.
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