Well I don't blame you! You would never get the stench off your fingers. Dogs whould howl when you walked by, old ladies would cover their noses and whisper about you behind your their hands. Children would make sport of you behind your back. No far better not to risk catching any of their nasty social diseases by actually comming in physical contact with such a purid mass of festering bile!.
Oh, come on. Don't you all ever have to go to the doctor or the dentist? That's when I read Time. In the waiting room.