[Maximus of Texas]

Hey, its Halloween weekend! What do you expect!
Speaking of Halloween, let me be the first to say that there is too much of an emphasis on "treats" and not nearly enough on "tricks" during the ghoul season. The good trick is an underused social grace. What better way to meet the neighbors than tying a skinned pet to a prominent oak and then watch as neighbors emerge from their houses to mingle in wild speculation? And what about the bonding that occurs after sailing stray concrete through double-paned windows? The neighbors may curse you and even involve law enforcement, but secretly they will appreciate your good-natured fun. As a boy, my favorite Halloween hijinks were painting misleading epithets on neighborhood homes. "Yankee go home!" I would gleefully spray across the house of a native Texan. "We don't need your kind!" was a poignant critique of a white Protestant of average income two houses down. And who could resist the subtle charms of my ironic admonition "No graffiti" scrawled across the broad arms of a majestic ranch house? It is this sort of playful creativity that makes Halloween such a laugh riot for the whole family. Speaking of families, mine disowned me.

[PaulaB]

Didn't I tell you to wait until 5:00

before hitting the bottle?

[teenyelliott]

Did you write that? HIGH-larious.

Ever try the plastic wrap over the toilet trick?

[Millee]

For some reason, I thought you were going to go in a completely different direction bringing up "tricks". You're so full of surprises.