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To: Alice au Wonderland
I still think Tennyson would have my head.
*chuckle*

My usual stuff, the surreal stuff, reads like this:

"What the devil is a tulgey wood?"
I don't know, ask the mad Englishman.
"I don't want to speak to any mad Englishman!"
"Too late!" cried a rather inebriated crow. "Raven!" it corrected.
"That'll be twenty four quid." said the short barkeep. Twenty four squid swam through the sunny sky as the evening progressed on.
The tall clock shortly clanged twenty as it melted and pooled into a mirror under a chair. The woman shrieked and pointed, "Knobby knees!"
Sure enough, the knobby knees merely crossed themselves and remained sitting.
"Is!" cried one. "Isn't!" cried two. "An eighth!" cried many.
A demented dwarven tailor ran around trying to sew up a dress that wouldn't sit still.
"Leave me alone!" cried the woman with no clothes as she ran from her wardrobe, it's clutching fashions inches from her heels.
"What is the best position to be in?" yelled the defendant from the bench.
"I wouldn't want to be one." said Five while in the park with the machina blades.
"In the hole!" screamed a soldier diving for cover behind a waddling mailbox as a hail of ju-ju bees flew his way.
The ju-ju bees merely sang 'Oh you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man - no time to talk'.
The mailman promptly burst into flames in response. The parrot doused him with it's martini.
It was about then that Max found out the stinging in his shoulder wasn't a biting insect but rather a tranq dart. He slumped over the counter and into the mirrored chair.
"Got one!" yelled the safari hunters as they surrounded the tailor. "Didn't you tranq him?" asked one. "Yes, see how he lays so still?" said three. The dwarven tailor kicked and bit furiously at the shins of an ogre as the safari hunters wrapped him in a penny wrapper.
"Damn the Cheetos! Full speed ahead!" cried a lobster as he jumped into the boiling punch bowl.
"Begone, foul spirit!" yelled a man to the spectre in front of him. The Barkeep turned and left. The spectre and the man looked at each other and shrugged, and promptly went back to slugging it out with the wallaby.
"Do you know where I am?" said a hoarse whisper from over the ladies left shoulder.
"You're standing on my foot." said the lady.
"Sorry." said the hoarse whisper.
The horse, however, was unimpressed.
"Showers today and a passing sprinkle."
"We just had a shower!" cried the three soaking wet co-eds from the middle of the spray. The sprinkler walked past the window and was run down by a deranged cabby.
"For the love of it all!" yelled one defender of the port-a-johns. "For the vestibule!" replied his quarterback. "For the mall!" howled the tight end as he ran down the throat of a charging barnacle.
Presently, the port-a-johns were over-run by the invaders from the RV.
Over in a corner, the Inquisitors were doing interesting things to a duck. The duck, however, was asking the questions.
Howard looked around the room and saw nothing wrong. But he knew he was in trouble when he saw the bunny.
The barbarians on either side of Howard slapped a sign on his back saying, "Mace me, I like it."
A waddling chiapet skated on by and hosed the storefronts down with fully-automatic paper shredders, obliterating the days work. The paper carnage was awful, so a ticker-tape parade broke out.
Panic ensued as the crowd orderly ambled down the main avenue, waving and smiling.
"My gosh! Look at the pillaging and looting going on! Will someone stop that crowd?"
The crowd was not to be stopped as they sat waiting for a light to turn. The light's turn signal stayed on as it drove straight.
The prophecy stated that all would come to an end when the clock struck thirteen. And sure enough, the clock stared at it's neighbor vehemently and up and struck thirteen for looking back at him.
"This is the most stable compound yet!!" exclaimed the scientist, who then promptly exploded.
After the melee was over, and the orgists had gone away, an orc came and swallowed the whole scene. Because nothing cleans up like and orc upright.

6,336 posted on 11/18/2005 7:52:59 PM PST by Darksheare (I'm not suspicious & I hope it's nutritious but I think this sandwich is made of mime.)
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To: Darksheare
You and Kindly Old Doc Tsu are kindred spirits!

Wait until she graces us with some stream of consciousness stuff.

She never punctuates the stream of consciousness stuff, so it can be a wild ride to decipher the true meaning of her words.

6,338 posted on 11/18/2005 7:56:55 PM PST by Alice au Wonderland (Like a fence, character cannot be strengthened by whitewash. - American proverb)
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To: Darksheare
Because nothing cleans up like and orc upright.

Oh dear--that's thoroughly British....I think you need to read my currently unfinished story --"Hieronymus Handwringer"--on the homepage.
6,347 posted on 11/18/2005 8:05:31 PM PST by Das Outsider (Read it.)
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