Watching the transformation
has been such a painful thing,
from curious, open, clever child,
tow haired and bright eyed,
to sullen adult
who has done everything just right
to be unhappy,
sad,
miserable,
looking everywhere but where he should
to fill that gap in his heart.
Remembering my youth
so long ago,
I have hopes
he will choose the light.
I fear
he will not last long enough to reach that point,
or get caught in the snares of his own hand.
My golden haired boy,
I weep for you,
not in anger
for the little wrongs you have done,
the small thefts,
the stupid decisions,
the drinking,
the lies,
but for the child who stole my heart
so long ago,
motherless and so in need,
little boy lost
who I will never see again.
Like David weeping for Absalom,
I kneel on the ground,
keening.
O Lord,
Hold him in your hands,
send your angels to watch over his steps,
and in the end,
may he find his way to you,
as surely as you led me.
Beautiful prayer. Thank You.