Replies

This case reminds me of a famous witch trail that took place years ago. The case was pleaded by a crowd before the magistrate. A transcript of the proceedings is below:

The Witch: I'm not a witch I'm not a witch!
Magistrate: But you a dressed like one
The Witch: They dressed me up like this!
Crowd: we didn't! We didn't...
The Witch: And this isn't my nose. It's a false one.
Magistrate: [lifts up her false nose] Well?
Peasant 1: Well, we did do the nose.
Magistrate: The nose?
Peasant 1: And the hat, but she is a witch!
Crowd: Yeah Burn her burn her!
Magistrate: Did you dress her up like this?
Peasant 1: No!
Peasant 3, Peasant 2: No!
Peasant 3: No!
Peasant 1: No!
Peasant 3, Peasant 2: No!
Peasant 1: Yes!
Peasant 2: Yes!
Peasant 1: Yeah a Bit
Peasant 3: A bit!
Peasant 1, Peasant 2: A bit!
Peasant 2: a bit
Peasant 1: But she has got a wart!

Magistrate: There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
Peasant 1: Are there? Oh well, tell us.
Magistrate: Tell me. What do you do with witches?
Peasant 1: Burn them.
Magistrate: And what do you burn, apart from witches?
Peasant 1: More witches.
Peasant 2: Wood.
Magistrate: Good. Now, why do witches burn?
Peasant 3: ...because they're made of... wood?
Magistrate: Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?
Peasant 1: Build a bridge out of her.
Magistrate: But can you not also build bridges out of stone?
Peasant 1: Oh yeah.
Magistrate: Does wood sink in water?
Peasant 1: No, no, it floats!... It floats! Throw her into the pond!
Magistrate: No, no. What else floats in water?
Peasant 1: Bread.
Peasant 2: Apples.
Peasant 3: Very small rocks.
Peasant 1: Cider.
Peasant 2: Gravy.
Peasant 3: Cherries.
Peasant 1: Mud.
Peasant 2: Churches.
Peasant 3: Lead! Lead!
Wise Man in Crowd: A Duck.
Magistrate: ...Exactly. So, logically...
Peasant 1: If she weighed the same as a duck... she's made of wood.
Magistrate: And therefore...
Peasant 2: ...A witch!

Unfortunately, the women weighed less than the duck and was burned.