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How many Big Ten students does it take to change a light bulb?

At Michigan it takes two. One to change the bulb and one more to explain how they did it every bit as good as an Ivy League school.

At Northwestern it takes four. One to change the bulb, two to place bets on how long it will take, and one to run the book.

At Michigan State it takes four. One to screw in the bulb, and three to figure out how to get high from it.

At Ohio State it takes five. One to change it, two to talk about how Woody would have done it, and two to throw the old bulb at Michigan Students.

At Wisconsin it takes six. One to change it, two to mix the drinks, and three to find the perfect J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion.

At Illinois it takes seven. One to change it, and six to explain that it glows brighter during basketball season.

At Minnesota it takes twelve. Two to figure out how to screw it in, ten to find an ugly enough lampshade to match the school colors.

At Penn State it takes 100. One to change it, 49 to talk about how they do it better than the rest of the big 10, and 50 to realize it's all a lie.

At Purdue it takes 29,000- What else are they going to do on a Saturday night?

At Iowa it takes none. There is no electricity in Iowa.