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Bob was excited about his new rifle and decided to try bear hunting. He traveled up to Alaska, spotted a small brown bear and shot it. Soon after there was a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear.

The black bear said, "That was a very bad mistake. That was my cousin.
I'm going to give you two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have sex."

After considering briefly, Bob decided to accept the latter alternative.
So the black bear had his way with Bob. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Bob soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip to Alaska where he found the black bear and shot it dead.

Right after, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him.

The grizzly said, "That was a big mistake, Bob. That was my cousin and you've got two choices: Either I maul you to death or I have sex with you."

Again, Bob thought it was better to cooperate with the grizzly bear than be mauled to death. So the grizzly had his way with Bob. Although he survived, it took several months before Bob fully recovered.

Now Bob was completely outraged, so he headed back to Alaska, managed to track down the grizzly bear, and shoot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then, moments later, there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there.

The polar bear looked at him and said, "Admit it Bob, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?"

There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone on one of the benches rings. One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues:p - "Hello?" - "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" - "Yes." - "Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful mink coat. It's absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?" - "What's the price?" - "Only $2,500.00." - "Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it."

- "Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2006 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman, and he gave me a really good price and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year..." - "What price did he quote you?" - "Only $80,000..." - "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

- "Great! But before we hang up, something else..." - "What?" - "It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and...I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year. It's on sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English Garden, acre of park area, beachfront property..." - "How much are they asking?" - "Only $950,000 - a magnificent price...and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover..." - "Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $920,000. OK?" - "OK, sweetie...Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!" - "Bye...I do too..."

The man hangs up, closes the phone's flap, and raises his hand while holding the phone and asks to all those present: - "Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?"