Anxiously awaiting this story!
LOL! No, not exactly.
My neighbors left town for a few days so we told them we would watch their house. Well, my daughter and I were here outside (and alone) when our dogs start running into the neighbor's back yard, barking their heads off. This wasn't a "Look, it's a grasshopper" bark; it was more like their "Intruder! Intruder!" bark. There's a difference, you know.
Well, a promise is a promise, so I grabbed the 12-gauge and went over there to chase off the looters. (You have to understand: Everyone has been in lockdown, curfew mentality down here for over a week now.) I knew the neighbors had already left town and were in the next state by now, and I knew my dogs were barking much louder than usual, so I couldn't just sit there and not check it out.
Bottom line: My dogs need some Xanax and I need to stop watching old reruns of Barney Fife on the Andy Griffith Show. It was the neighbors returning for something. Well, they got a good laugh out of me standing there in my Daisy Duke shorts (it's HOT down here), standing there inside their barbed wire fence with shotgun in hand. Thank God I didn't draw down on them -- I do have a little sense!
To make it worse, I looked down at my leg because it was hurting and there was blood dripping. It turns out that when I went under the barbed wire fence, I must have put my knee down on a stick or something.
I didn't think much else about it until the next day when the puncture wound was all red and my leg was hurting and I was running fever. I dug around in it awhile but couldn't find anything, then realized I hadn't had a tetanus shot in way over 10 years. So... I ended up in the ER to get penicillin and tetanus shots. And making up lame excuses about how it happened.
The only good part about the entire ordeal was that at least the FEMA doc who dug around in my leg was nice-looking. :-)