Posted on 09/08/2005 5:10:05 PM PDT by pissant
Landing yourself a first date is only the first step in securing a smooth transition into an eventful and exciting night.
A first date is about an impression. A woman wants to feel that the man she's with has not only thought about the date, but also prepared accordingly. Let me help you decipher her unspoken expectations for the evening and what she wants you to do but would never actually say.
1- Go the extra mile... or two
If you greet her with a red rose and a smile you're sure to get a warm response. But why not turn up the heat and offer her a less stereotypical treat? If you already know some details about this woman, use the information to your advantage. If her favorite color is purple, give her a purple flower. Otherwise, use your imagination.
If she's the playful type, she might enjoy a bouquet of lollipops to sweeten the night. Or, if she's of a more intellectual persuasion, perhaps offering her a copy of your favorite book might stack the odds in your favor. The key is creativity -- she'll be impressed if you've shown that you not only got her something, but that you thought about her while doing it.
2- Be polite, not pushy
She may not tell you that etiquette is a priority, but be sure that she's keeping an eye on what you are, and perhaps more importantly, what you aren't doing. It's the little details that make the difference, like chewing with your mouth closed. Remember; nothing you have to say is either important or funny enough that it can't be said after you swallow.
Do offer to open the door for her, but if she insists on doing it herself, be sure and let her. Another rule to remember: any stories that involve vomit or secretions of any sort (no matter how funny or appropriate you think they are) will generally be a complete turnoff to a woman.
3- Be complimentary
Many men forget to notice and compliment their date's appearance. There must be something about her outfit, her hair or the way she smells that you like. You can rest assured that she's spent a good portion of her time primping and preparing for this first date, and it's important that you acknowledge her efforts.
Find out what you should do during dinner and how to leave her with a lasting impression
4- Be curious about her
You're nervous and trying to make sure that she thinks you're better (and more original) than the last guy who showed up at her door with a red rose. The result can often be you talking about all the things you've accomplished while neglecting to ask her about her interests. Your intentions might be to keep the conversation flowing, but a monologue actually makes for a more uncomfortable evening than a few awkward pauses. So be sure to ask her about herself; just don't turn it into an interview.
5- Be assertive, not aggressive
It's important that you show her you're confident. But, it's also important not to blur the line between being assertive and aggressive while interacting with her, as well as those who might even prove to be allies on your first date. When dealing with your waiter, she'd prefer you be courteous than cantankerous. If what you order isn't what you get, then by all means tell your waiter, but don't raise your voice and demand it be taken back. A polite smile and a simple assertion that your order has been confused is the perfect time for you to show your willingness to forgive while your waiter tries to make it up to you (all the while making you look even better). Likewise, if the movie you both wanted to see is sold out, take it in good humor and most importantly...
6- Always have a backup plan
If the plans you made unravel at the last moment, relax. You can always rely on plan B to make the most of what might have been a wasted night. She'll either be impressed by your on-the-spot creativity or glowing at the thought of you considering a "just in case" scenario for your date. It doesn't have to be overly extravagant, just make sure you have some other ideas in the event the night doesn't come together exactly as planned. From ice skating to salsa dancing to coffee drinking -- any backup option is better than no option at all.
7- Leave her impressed
The evening seems to be coming to a close; time to pull that proverbial ace from up your sleeve. You want to leave her with a lasting impression about what a wonderful time she had and how lucky she was to spend it with you. Seeing her to her door will no doubt get you further than the front door. But give her the option to welcome you in by taking it one step at a time. Offering a polite end to a wonderful evening just leaves her wanting more and gives her the chance to assert herself if she's craving more than a kiss at night's end. Of course, if you've played your cards right, she'll be wanting more than just this one date anyway...
"She'll have the soup".
Well that fits your moniker...at least mine ordered cheesecake for me.
Hey, I drove over here.
2- Be polite, not pushy
Hey, nice you weren't too late.
3- Be complimentary
Nice cellphone, does it have an "off" button?
4- Be curious about her
Are you a cop?
5- Be assertive, not aggressive
Point that gun at me and I'll have to disarm you, how's your drink?
6- Always have a backup plan
Looks like I have to go, Dark Chi is strong tonight.
7- Leave her impressed
That's a given.
I love being single!
My wife was impressed sometime later... in the evening.
Later, when we caught our breaths, we talked to each other.
We're not married any more.
There's a lesson there... marry only a Conservative.
my wife is as Conservative, or moreso, than I am.
We generally don't talk about politics though. We have other stuff to do.
Dog, you.
LOL
well, really the only time I talk about politics is on FR.
By all means and offer her an extra strength Tylonol.
wash the car..clean the bathroom...
Don't act like you need it
Much wit is lost in a poor man's purse.
Fortunately my wife has an abundance of mirth. The point is, I had just met her and barely knew her 5 minutes, but something about her told me that she would get a laugh out of my orgeish impression. She did. And we lived happily ever after.
In all likelihood... neither is he!
: )
What a wonderful idea!
you go first!
Eeeeeeeeeeeewwwww!
Wow God bless you two! Most of my dates excuse themselves to the ladies room and never come back well before the 4-hour mark! ;-)
Somebody's been watching too much Oprah!
I want a killer rabbit.
You really need to start dating women older than 18. Seriously.
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