Hilarious Joke.....IMHO....
There was this man who lost one of his arms in an accident. He became very
depressed because he had loved to play guitar and a lot of things that took
two arms.
One day he could not stand it anymore. He decided to commit suicide.
He got on an elevator and went to the top of a tall building to jump off.
He was standing on the ledge looking down and saw this man on the sidewalk
below skipping along whistling and kicking up his heels. He looked closer
and noticed this man didn't have any arms at all.
He started thinking, what am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself,
I still have one good arm to do things with. There goes a man with no
arms skipping down the sidewalk happy and going on with his life.
He hurried down and caught the man with no arms. He told him how glad
he was to see him because he had lost one of his arms and felt ugly,
useless and was going to kill himself. He thanked him again for saving his life
and he now knew he could make it with one arm if that guy could do it with no
arms.
The man with no arms began dancing and whistling and kicking up his heels again.
He asked "Why are you so happy anyway?"
He said "I'm NOT happy; my ass itches."
LOL! Poor guy.
You know, I've always wondered how the blind know when to stop wiping.
... forget I said that...
The club duffer challenged the local golf pro to a match, with a $100 bet on the side. "But," said the duffer, "since you're obviously much better than I, to even it a bit you have to spot me two 'gotchas'."
The golf pro didn't know what a 'gotcha' was, but he went along with it. And off they went. Coming back to the 19th hole, the rest of the club members were amazed to see the golf pro paying the duffer $100.
"What happened?" asked one of the members.
"Well," said the pro, "I was teeing up for the first hole, and as I brought the club down, that jerk stuck his hand between my legs and grabbed my balls, then yelled 'Gotcha!' Have you ever tried to play 18 holes of golf waiting for the second 'gotcha'?"
>> He said "I'm NOT happy; my ass itches." <<
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!! well, my co-workers know what I'm doing...again.
Thanks for the laugh!