For the golfers...
TEN BEST CADDY REMARKS
#10
Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"
#9
Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."
#8
Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now. "
#7
Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
Caddy: "Eventually."
#6
Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."
Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."
#5
Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's a big
distraction."
Caddy: "It's not a watch ~ it's a compass."
#4
Golfer: "How do you like my game?"
Caddy: "Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf."
#3
Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?
Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day."
#2
Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on."
Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."
#1
Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old."
Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."
A man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying in bed for a few minutes the man cuts a fart. His wife rolls over and asks, "What in the world was that?"
The man says, "Touchdown, I'm ahead, seven to nothing."
A few minutes later the wife lets one loose. The man says to her, "What was that?"
She replies, "Touchdown, tie score."
The man lays there for about ten minutes trying to work one up. He tries so hard that he sh4ts all over the bed.
The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?" He replies, "Half time. Switch sides."