[Izzy Dunne]

Now playing: Norwegian Christmas Music!

"Prettige Kertdagen" is Norwegian for "Broken Accordion"

[Izzy Dunne]

Now playing: Swedish Christmas Music!

"Eilerts Jul" is Swedish for "Elvis Rules"

[Izzy Dunne]

Now playing: British Bullfighters!

"Knees-Up" is my hands-down favorite!

[Izzy Dunne]

Now playing: MORE British Homosexual Bullfighters!

Some things you just cannot explain...

[Izzy Dunne]

Now playing: Simon and Garfunkel tunes!

I wouldn't think he would have any friends, but...

[Izzy Dunne]

Now playing: 'The Letter', by

A stamp buys so much more...

[Izzy Dunne]

Now playing: 'Open Wide', by

These guys are a bone apart.

[Izzy Dunne]

Now playing: 'Miracle', by

Must be real hard when they need glasses..

[Izzy Dunne]

Now playing: 'Radar Love', by

Mr. Bat lives for the music.

[Izzy Dunne]

Now playing: 'I'm not Angry', by

Makes you feel all oogie inside...

[Izzy Dunne]

Now playing: 'Dizzy", by

Just watch it go round and round and ...

[Izzy Dunne]

Now playing: 'ArmorAll", by

Some things you just can't explain...

[Izzy Dunne]

Now playing: 'Tee for Two", by

Mr. Tee before all the decorations...

[Izzy Dunne]

All right folks, OFST Radio is now off the air. I hope you have enjoyed today's musical selections.

[JimWforBush]

The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and had proceeded to give an oral quiz to the freshman class.

Speaking specifically about manic depression, the instructor asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"

A young man in the rear of the room raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"

[oldtimer2]

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK." She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER." She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."

3. She is not "EASY." She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE." She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND." She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD." She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY." She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."

8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS." She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

9. She does not "NAG" you. She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

10. She is not a "TRAMP." She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."

11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS." She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."

12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER." She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."

[oldtimer2]

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT." He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER." He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME." He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

4. He is not "BALDING." He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER." He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."

6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK." He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."

7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS." He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG. " He has "SWINE EMPATHY."

9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT." He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."

10. He is not "HORNY." He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."

11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants. It's "REAR CLEAVAGE."

[OESY]

One day my fiancée's "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome.

She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.

She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.

I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

And the moral of this story is:


Always keep your condoms in your car.

[tazman3]

PING