A guy gets a horrible sunburn on his vacation on Waikiki Beach, and calls the hotel doctor.
Doc arrives with his nurse, strips him down and instructs the nurse to apply various ointments and then cover him with a sheet.
Finally, the doc tells the nurse to administer a Viagra...when she asks why, he tells her "To keep the sheet off most of his sunburn".
WHY IS IT THAT WE HAVE TO SPEAK ENGLISH?
U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a Naval conference that included admirals from the U.S. , English, Canadian, Australian, and French Navies. At a
cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a group of half dozen or so officers that included personnel from most of the countries.
Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English. He then asked: "Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?"
Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied:
"Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies, and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German."