Well, as Bender told, I do bathe, shave and belch once a month whether I need it or not. 
Son doesn't scare small children, they scare him!
Well, I don't want them grabbing my quadcane!
Haaa ha! He only snores lightly when he is awake... Hee hee! And he likes soft food 'cause he lost his uppers last year in an all night poker game. Harrr harrr har!
How was I to know that fella was holding a full house?