That's why I am so adamant about not wearing white to weddings. It took me ages to find "the dress" and when I found it, it wasn't available in my size. The dress had to be cut to fit, yadda yadda, all the usual nightmares ensued. What I went through for that dress! And then the nerve of two bimbos, showing up in white. They really were bimbos, I'm not just being mean. One became my sister-in-law. Now she's my ex-sister-in-law. Big ol' bimbo.
You're dead-on right about sending, not carrying the gift. Classy, classy, classy. For prople I don't know too well, I stick to the registry. For people I do know well, I always send a piece of Waterford, whether they like it or not. Having something beautiful to look at (and easy to hock!) in the beginning of a marriage can't hurt, I figure.
You're also right about "Free Bird." Unacceptable under any circumstances. There oughtta be a law!
LOL! I have a question that I'm sure you ladies know the answer to...is it inappropriate for the mother of the groom to wear the same color as the wedding party?
My MIL did this and I thought it was so odd.