[Fury]

The Teletubbies did not like the last few days of weather. Not that they complain, but I don't think they like their fur getting wet with rain, etc.

They still are living in the orchard across the street. They're much better after having been gone for several weeks to be "counseled" - they were getting to be a problem with their demands for toast and custard all the time.

I do believe we can get them to start doing simple tasks. It just takes time and a supply of Tubby toast.

[AJMaXx]

Welcome back to Fridays. My wife and I missed having you host it. We try to read every post, sometimes taking all weekend to do it.
BTW, Happy Birthday to Wandaroos, she finally reached the top of the hill, now it is time to just coast the rest of the way.....LOL

[day10]

Interesting Odd Jobs Quiz I saw today:

Odd Jobs Quiz

[RushCrush]

[dfwgator]

"And boom goes the dynamite."

[Rightly Biased]

A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when
a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey "Hey!
what are you doing?" The monkey says "Smoking a joint, come up and join
me, my cold-blooded friend." So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the
monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is
'dry', and that he's going to get a drink from the river. At the riverbank, the lizard
is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls in.
A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned lizard, helping him to the side.
He then asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?!"
The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree,
smoking a joint with his new monkey friend. He then
explained how his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when
he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in! The inquisitive crocodile says he
has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is
sitting, finishing a joint.

He looks up and says "Hey, MONKEY!"

The Monkey looks down and says, "DUDE....... how much water did you drink?"

[The_Victor]

Good thread today B.

Thanks.

I'll be back tonight, but the OFST will probably be done by then. Later y'all.

[phoenix0468]

An American Soldier, A British Airman, and A French Foreign Legionaire were all trapped on a deserted island in the middle of the Pacific.

One day as the British Airman was walking along the beach he stubbed his toe on something in the sand. He bent down and dug up the offending object and unearthed an ancient looking lamp.

He took the lamp back to his associates to show them. As he was rubbing the sand off the lamp a Genie appeared. "Who dares disturb the Genie of the lamp?" belowed the Genie. A little taken aback by this, none of the party answered. "Since none of you take responsibility, I will distribute my wishes among you all." the Genie continued, "You will each receive one wish."

"You", said the Genie, poining at the American, "what is your wish." The American's wish was simple, "I just want to get back to Iowa and be back with my family working the farm." he replied. "So be it." said the Genie, and poof, the soldier was home. Astounded the Frenchman stepped up and said, "Wonderful Genie, let me make my wish now." The Genie nodded his head and crossed his arms in expectation. "I would like a mansion on the Riviera filled with jewels and precious metals of all kind." The Genie replied, "Let it be done." And the Leagionaire was gone.

Intrigued by this display of magical power, the Brit asked the genie a question. "You know that Frenchman you just sent to the Riviera?", he asked. "Why of course", the Genie replied. "You know the country you sent him to?" The Genie looked a bit agitated and answered, "Yes, yes I do." "Well", said the Airman, "Could you put a wall around that country 100 feet high, and 50 feet thick and completely impenetrable?", he asked. "Absolutely. Why? Are you concerned they will be attacked again?", the Genie asked.

"No", the Brit replied, "I would like you to fill it with water."

[phoenix0468]

A Scotsman went on holiday to Amsterdam. The first night he goes out and hits all the pubs and gets so drunk he can't find his hotel; so he passes out in an alley.

Sunday morning two pretty Danish girls on their way to church see the passed out Scot lying in the ally. One girl says to the other, "Have you ever wondered what's under a Scotsman's Kilt?" To which the other replies, "Oh, yes, I have." and proceeds to lift the Kilt. They both gaze in wide wonder at the sight before them, and in honor one of the girls ties a blue ribbon from her hair around his manhood.

With nature calling the Scotsman awakens and walks to the end of the ally to relieve himself. He lifts his kilt and looks down and in startled amazement says, "I don't were ya been, but I see ya won first prize!!"

[Fiddle E. Dee]

Mr. BigB

Thank you for sticking with us. I am coming to this thread very late. I hope you get this message. My day started at 6 AM and just ended at 10 PM. I am a bit punchy, so be gentle. I will read and I will laugh because of your leadership. THANKYOU!!! from the bottom of my heart.

[cowboyway]

Lets say a Swede marries an Afghan and they have a child, what do they name it?

YaShur Youbetcha

[cowboyway]

The sheriff of Orleans Parish, Louisiana is tasked to uncover an illegal cock fighting ring. The sheriff calls in a deputy and instructs him to go undercover and find out who is involved.

Two months later, the deputy comes back and reports to the sheriff:

Deputy: There are three groups involved in the cock fighting ring. The first is a group of LSU students.

Sheriff: How do you know it's LSU students?

Deputy: They entered a duck.

Sheriff: Makes sense.

Deputy: The second group is a group of Cajuns.

Sheriff: How do you know they're Cajuns?

Deputy: They bet on the duck.

Sheriff: Sounds right.

Deputy: The third group is the Mafia.

Sheriff: How do you know it's the Mafia?

Deputy: The duck won.