Abbott & Costello buy a computer

Email (where else?) | Unknown | Unknown

[Squawk 8888]

Because we've all had to deal with it...

[Junior]

A "who's on first?" ping.

[familyop]

"DISCLAIMER: You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this."

Ah, M$ Windoze youngster wize guys, eh? Take this! Wububububup! Wububububup! Rowrowrowr! Nyah, nyah, nyah!

Keep using Windows 'till it's time for you all to be weaned!

[PatrickHenry]

Cute article. I'm currently going through the agony of setting up a new computer, so this is quite timely.

[Squawk 8888]

Wow!!! Three posts to turn a joke into a MacWinLinux war. Is this a new record?

[Squawk 8888]

I feel your pain. My job includes replacing computers for my staff. I typically have to go through it once every couple of months. And they all wonder why, when I'm an IT guy who sets the budget and has full purchasing authority, I always seem to be the one who never gets his computer replaced...

[PatrickHenry]

Know anything about running old dos programs in a dos window under windows XP? I'm having a devil of a time getting old Quattro Pro to work. It works on another computer, same platform but 2 years older. It won't work on this new one. The program's commands and menus are in garbled text, although the actual spreadsheets look fine. I've re-copied the program, and then even swapped monitors, no change. It's very strange. Gotta be some new driver or something that's messing me up. Driving me nuts.

[familyop]

"Wow!!! Three posts to turn a joke into a MacWinLinux war. Is this a new record?"

LOL! I don't use any of those three. One's too slow and not versatile enough to suit my needs, although it's taking a better direction in re. parts and software. The other is too insecure, hogish and has a socialist, anti-family chairman who appears to be moving everything he has to China. The other is driven by a communistic herd with a terrible virus against capitalism--a virus they call a "license."

I like the BSD license (good for capitalism), security and stability. But most others call us "snobs." Heh, heh. I'll have to write some installers to change that image.

[familyop]

Oh...and all systems have their purposes. I won't complain about anyone else for using any of them and will write software for any of them in the near future.

[newgeezer]

Next, Abbott & Costello buy a search.

[Swordmaker]

Abbott & Costello buy a computer - Ping!

If you want on or off the Mac Ping List, Freepmail me.

[Squawk 8888]

I know that a DOS window is fine when the program is text only but DOS graphics in a window are usually pretty dicey. Have you tried using alt-enter to switch between a full screen and a window? Sometimes full-screen is the only way to handle it.

[Squawk 8888]

My sentiments exactly. I never understood why some could turn software into a religion. It's just a f****** tool, nothing more, and most people in IT know that it's just a tool.

[PatrickHenry]

I know that a DOS window is fine when the program is text only but DOS graphics in a window are usually pretty dicey. Have you tried using alt-enter to switch between a full screen and a window? Sometimes full-screen is the only way to handle it.

Yup. Makes no difference. I've tried every variation in the "Properties" section of the dos window shortcut. Nothing. I've REMed out the extra memory stuff in the config.nt file. Nothing. I'll just give it up.

[Aunt Polgara]

Maybe you don't have the right fonts installed. When a font the program wants is missing, most programs will just grab another one, with sometimes disasterous results.

[PatrickHenry]

Maybe you don't have the right fonts installed.

Interesting. I hadn't considered that. I'll look into it in the morning. Thanks.

[Squawk 8888]

I'm afraid you've got me stumped, because that's worked for Win98 but I've never tried it with NT (XP is just a revision of NT). If I ever stumble across an old graphical DOS program I'll hack and FReepmail if I learn anything but right now it sounds like the best thing to do is get a new program that does the same things Quattro did for you. There's lots of inexpensive stuff out there that will do the job for you, but the only one I would be comfortable recommending would be Microsoft Works because it's the only one of the low-cost packages that I've actually used myself.

[Squawk 8888]

OK, I finally got your joke. Serves me right for being the only male in North America who is not a Three Stooges fan.

[familyop]

Ah, that's alright. ...sorry I didn't make that clear enough. It was also a joke on the comment in the post about older folks...like me. But some of us are nerds forever.

;-)