Posted on 06/05/2005 11:48:06 AM PDT by pissant
You've probably noticed by now that men are not perfect. In fact, it can sometimes seem that men are huge, great blobs of imperfection. In women's eyes men regularly do things wrong and are too lazy to do anything about it. But many of the mistakes men make are due to their not knowing they are mistakes in the first place. We only do them because our brain works differently from the female brain. Remember, unless you tell your Mr Imperfect that these things upset you, he'll carry on getting them wrong.
1. Being abrupt on the telephone.
Men see the phone as a means of communication, nothing more. A typical male telephone conversation goes as follows: 'Drink in the pub tonight?' 'What time?' 'Seven-thirty?' 'See you there.' Men do their talking in person, when they get to the pub. (From about eight-thirty onwards the talking won't make much sense.) But women enjoy the process of communication rather than just its result, so want to prolong the call, bonding a little more. Explain to your man that hanging up quickly can be hurtful, even though he doesn't mean it to be.
2. Offering solutions when you just want him to listen.
If you've got a problem (at work, for instance) you'll want to sit down and talk about it with your man, approaching it from different angles. But men don't do 'different angles'. The only angle they know is head-on, with a sledgehammer. Your man will instantly give you practical steps towards fixing the problem. He thinks he's helping. Explain that you appreciate his desire to assist, but all you want him to do is sympathise as you talk around the problem in your own way.
3. Being silent when he's considering his own problems. The other side of the same coin: when your man has a worry, he keeps it to himself, trying to solve it quickly, not wanting to bother you. Men are much more comfortable with silence than women. They don't feel the same need for reassuring communication all the time. And so it doesn't occur to your man that you could misunderstand his quietness as a sign that you've done something wrong. Ask him to keep you posted on his thoughts, even if it's just a monosyllabic grunt or two.
4. Refusing to ask for directions when you're lost.
Ever since the first caveman failed to bag a wildebeest for Mrs Caveman's dinner, men have seen failure as a threat to their relationship. They think that if they admit to making a mistake, you'll stop loving them. Reassure your man that this isn't true. In fact you'll love him even more for owning up to his errors. What will stop you loving him is that he's still driving around at four in the morning looking for that hotel.
5. Looking at other women.
Men's peripheral vision isn't as good as women's. That's why when you're walking down the street together and a good-looking woman passes, your man will turn his head to look at her. He simply doesn't realise he's doing it. When you cast an eye over a handsome guy, on the other hand, (go on, admit it, you know you do), you're subtle about it. Ask him to at least try and be less obvious.
6. Making arrangements in front of people.
'Mind if I go to the football with Dave next Saturday?' he asks, forgetting that you've arranged to visit your mother that day. The trouble is, he asks you when Dave's there. He expects you to be honest. Because that's what he would do. If you asked him in front of a girlfriend whether he'd mind you going shopping with her next Saturday, he'd be perfectly comfortable about saying, 'But I thought we were going to my mother's?' Men are much more straightforward in voicing their thoughts. What they forget is that 'straightforward' can often translate as 'offensive'. It doesn't enter his head that you'll want to avoid offending Dave. Remind him that 'Planning Your Diary' is a game for two people, not three.
7. Giving vague responses about what he's been up to.
When you ask him how his day was, he replies, 'Not bad'. And that's precisely what he means: it wasn't great, but it wasn't bad. He has nothing to report, so he doesn't report anything. Whereas you tell him everything about your office: who's had their hair done, who's not getting on with whom, who's pushing for promotion. Your man doesn't have the same need for details as you do. So he doesn't realise that without them you can feel left out. Tell him that the odd detail from his day wouldn't go amiss.
Is that a blueberry or an apple?
No, you might hurt my feelings. Being all sensitive and all...
2. You come to us with a problem, we suggest a solution. Why is that a problem? Also see #1.
3. We're thinking about a problem. We know women will suggest talking when what needs doing is fixing. Whay is that a problem? Also see #1.
4. If we find our own why we will remember the geography. If we ask we will just get lost in this area again next time. Why is this a problem?
5. Why is this a problem?
6. First they want us to talk. So we talk. Then we're not supposed to talk in front of others. Make up your mind.
7. Don't ask so many questions, I won't tell you so many lies. Why is this a problem?
Good response!
My late husband and I had these type phone converstations all the time. Our longest conversation was probably 10 mins when the furnace went down and he was out of town. He told me how to deal with the situation and we hung up. Not all women like to talk on the phone, and I'm one of them. Say what needs to be said and hang up. Guess my brain is wired wrong.
No. It's wired correctly. Like a man's. ;o)
I even own a Tauraus 38 Ultra lite and know how to use it and clean it!
SWOON!
Gee, why ask for advice if you will totally ignore it? I think the real difference is if you are a liberal woman or a CONSERVATIVE woman. The libs 'feel' they don't really think.
Bingo! It's all about feelings. Someone should write a song!
But she has your best interest at heart!
Of course!
Sensitive? You? ;)
Very. I'm sensitive to the feelings of my fellow freepers who do not like tawdry smut on this forum. So I never post any!
How's that?
How morally sweet of you...nice tagline! ;)
Why thank you.
Sleep is so important ya know!
One should be well rested...
I agree. It doesn't usually pay to be stiff in the morning!
Hmmm...maybe not for you.
Not if there is no quick remedy, anyhow! ;o)
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.