[Spiff]

I have a similar or related theory. You see, the Democrat party and its candidates relies upon these stupid people as their constituency. It is STUPID people that are voting for Democrats. The invention of the Internet and the ability for people to educate themselves about the issues has caused a number of people to vote Republican. To counter that, the Democrats must ensure that more stupid people survive. In that past stupid people would thankfully kill themselves off in fiery "hold muh beer" moments or falls from bicycles when they weren't wearing helmets, etc., etc. (see Darwin Awards). Or stupid people would render themselves unable to reproduce, or they would kill their unborn children through abortion, or they would do something stupid and kill their entire stupid family. The bottom line is that this meant less stupid voters to vote for Democrats. So, the Democrats set about to start forcing people to buckle their kids up and forcing cyclists to wear helmets, they put warning labels on coffee cups and McDonalds Apple Turnovers (heaven knows how many people have been killed by those evil things). Etc. Etc.

Here's where the real danger comes in. The more stupid people who survive until voting age who also survive long enough to reproduce means that there are more and more stupid people being born every day. Natural selection used to keep the stupid herds down to a reasonable level, but with all this new safety regulation and such, we're going to become overpopulated with stupid people. And we'll see our Republican majority in Congress dwindle as a result.

Of course Congressional Republicans have a plan to address this eventuality. Lately, they've been acting more and more stupid in an attempt to fool the gullible stupid people to get them to vote for them. It makes one wish that they were too stupid to notice all this stuff.

[teenyelliott]

Stunning, absolutely stunning. You made me laugh, you made me cry. Your theory could be made into a movie.

[m87339]

Next up, those who make it past abortion are wrapped in bubble wrap until they are 90 years old.

The main problem is spending your life keeping people from popping the bubbles.

[Ditto]

LOL. Great post.

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

Check The Hitchiker's Guide to The Galaxy and look up the entry under "Golgafrincham". They are us. And we is doomed.

"Golgafrincham, home of the circling poets of Arium, decided that one third of its population was useless, and devised a ruse to get rid of them by concocting a story that their planet would shortly be destroyed in some great catastrophe.
The useless population consisted of middle management, telephone sanitizers, management consultants, marketing executives, hairdressers and the like. Although there were conflicting accounts of the exact nature of the supposed catastrophe, they were generally told that a giant mutant star goat was threatening Golgafrincham.
All these people were packed into one of three giant Ark spaceships and told that everyone else would follow shortly in the other two. Of course they did not follow, and lived happily for a while; but, ironically enough, the whole remaining population shortly afterward died out from a deadly plague spread by unexpectedly dirty telephone."