Posted on 05/27/2005 8:38:04 AM PDT by Altair333
Tom cruise declares love for Katie Holmes on al-Jazeera By Andy Borowitz Seizes control of Arabic-language net http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Actor Tom Cruise stunned the Arab world today by seizing control of the Arabic-language al-Jazeera network to declare his love for former "Dawson's Creek" star Katie Holmes. Mr. Cruise, who was seen jumping up and down on a couch declaring his love for Ms. Holmes on "Oprah" earlier this week, and who relentlessly professed his love for her at the Cannes Film Festival earlier this month, apparently decided that those declarations were insufficient because they did not completely reach the Arabic-speaking world. According to sources inside al-Jazeera, a heavily armed Mr. Cruise burst in the the television network's studio's shortly after lunch, just as an announcer was broadcasting news of reported wounds to the U.S.'s most wanted man in Iraq, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. Brandishing a firearm and wearing two ammunition belts across his naked, gleaming torso, Mr. Cruise shoved the announcer out of his anchor chair and declared, "I love Katie Holmes so much it is absolutely unbelievable! I so totally love this girl!" In his five-minute address to the Arab world, Mr. Cruise denied that his heavily-publicized romance with Ms. Holmes was in any way a trumped-up promotional stunt: "My love for Katie has nothing to do with my new movie, 'War of the Worlds,' directed by Steven Speilberg and opening in theaters everywhere this summer." The Cruise incident left many at al-Jazeera shaken, including one studio technician who said, "That was scarier than anything we've broadcast by bin Laden."
(Excerpt) Read more at jewishworldreview.com ...
I don't think that Tom Cruise could seize control of his rearex using both hands.
She's a LITTLE young for you, Tom. She's much more MY age... ;-)
And I think that you can have those pushed in now.
**************
No pictures, please.
Naa, outtie's are kinda cute.
what do you push them in with?
Cruise talking about his new "girlfriend" is pretty freaking scary. (although I wouldn't compare him to bin Laden) It's scary to me that he has to work so hard to attempt to convince people that he's straight. ;)
Tom sure does love his beards.
me thinkest he proclaimith too much
Yep, Texas Mom. Just like he did with Nicole. I think that he felt this huge prove to do, in making "Eyes Wide Shut." He's one of the most transparent of the Hollyweird Transparents.
I agree...if they're not TOO out. Then they start looking like some kinda homing device or temperature censor. And the sun isn't good for them.
Thom is thotally sthraight. S-thop it!
OK, I'm slow here...is this article truth or fiction? and why was Tom Cruise wearing two ammunition belts and a bare chest? Was he shooting a movie?
Anyway, Katie Holmes looks alot like Angolina Jolie, and Tom Cruise is very nice looking. so what if she's younger than he is.
I'm older than he is and I'd go out with him. Does that count? :~)
It's a satire based on the fact that for the past 2-3 weeks Tom Cruise has been publically making out with Katie Holmes every chance he gets and publically proclaiming his extreme love for this girl to any human being with a camera.
It has really gotten old. I mean, we already KNOW the guy is good looking and makes tens of millions of dollars a year doing a fun job. Does he really have to rub in the fact that he's boinking the girl I've been fantasizing about since high school? Apparently so ...
That's what I was going to post! :)
Kubrick knew exactly who he was casting.
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