Posted on 05/18/2005 4:12:20 PM PDT by pissant
Anniversaries & birthdays are more important than Valentines & Christmas
Flirting with another woman while in a relationship counts as cheating.
The answer to "Am I fat?" is "No." There are no other answers.
House cleaning involves more than putting away your porn videos.
Cologne: a little goes a long way.
Driving like a bat out of hell does not impress.
If you "miss", clean it up immediately before it congeals.
Floss is your friend.
Heating up soup from a can is not cooking.
Maggots are not a "natural" way to clean dirty dishes.
The female brain is designed to always multitask. Just accept it.
Items on a grocery list are not "suggestions".
If you smoke, don't flirt with non-smokers.
The G-spot is not a magic button you can push and get instant results.
Common Sense
How to ask for directions
Wash your hands often.
What women want
Women need foot massages more than they need sex.
Never take a first date to a movie starring your favorite hot young actress.
Just because a woman dresses expensively doesn't mean she has money.
Their name
Looking at another woman while in a relationship counts as flirting.
That foreplay does not have to include four people.
The hamper is for dirty clothes; the floor is for rugs.
How to undo a bra
put the seat down
shower daily
I'm up here, talk to my face!
Just exactly what six inches look like.
(Excerpt) Read more at keepersoflists.org ...
MY RESPONSES FOLLOW:
Anniversaries & birthdays are more important than Valentines & Christmas - Act appreciative when we remember.
Flirting with another woman while in a relationship counts as cheating. - If she's cute, you're flirting.
The answer to "Am I fat?" is "No." There are no other answers. - "Why do you ask?"
House cleaning involves more than putting away your porn videos. - I write the maid a check.
Cologne: a little goes a long way. - Same for perfume.
Driving like a bat out of hell does not impress. - Whining about my driving won't change things.
If you "miss", clean it up immediately before it congeals.
- I write the maid a check
Floss is your friend. - So is mouth wash if you have perpetual bad breath.
Heating up soup from a can is not cooking. - When your cooking skill exceed mine, you can complain.
Maggots are not a "natural" way to clean dirty dishes.
- That's why we have a dish washer. (wanted to say dog)
The female brain is designed to always multitask. Just accept it. - Could you please just get one of those tasks right?
Items on a grocery list are not "suggestions". - If I don't like it, I ain't buying it.
If you smoke, don't flirt with non-smokers. - If I've got a cigar in my mouth, there aren't supposed to be any women around.
The G-spot is not a magic button you can push and get instant results. - It is when I'm pushing it!
Common Sense - Its allowed EVERY day of the month.
How to ask for directions - Unless she's cute, then its flirting.
Wash your hands often. - I try not to pee on them in the first place.
What women want - There's a hole with no bottom!
Women need foot massages more than they need sex. - 2 hours is never enough.
Never take a first date to a movie starring your favorite hot young actress. - Always dinner.
Just because a woman dresses expensively doesn't mean she has money. - or class.
Their name - Ooops!
Looking at another woman while in a relationship counts as flirting. - I always turn my head when I cough.
That foreplay does not have to include four people. - Not lately.
The hamper is for dirty clothes; the floor is for rugs. - No, the washing machine is for dirty clothes.
How to undo a bra - One second, Ond handed.
put the seat down - Its never up, I have a urinal.
shower daily - Only if I think there's a chance of sex.
I'm up here, talk to my face! - Only if it looks better than what I'm lookin' at.
Just exactly what six inches look like. - Half.
bravo Larry. LOL
If you come to me with a problem, I'm going to try to solve it. You don't want my feedback, don't tell me about it.
Sometimes I just want to be alone. It doesn't mean I don't like you. It doesn't mean I'm messing around. I just have things to do.
I'm not carrying a kid in a papoose pack, I'm going to bring up my sons to be men, not wimps, and my daughters are going to be ladies who can defend themselves.
that's too practical for a pissant thread! ;o)
OK. How about "When I say to pick up some beer, if you don't know which brand I mean, don't bother coming home"? :)
Spoken like a true pissant!
HEY!
This thread died waaaaay too soon!
I agree. The chicks are too busy planning a trip to Vegas to keep us company tonight! Rats.
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