"Hittin the 2 AM lottery .."
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I bartended for many years. One of the fringe benefits was getting to cherry pick from the pool of lottery prizes!
Can't find my wallet
can't find my keys
getting to the bathroom
crawling on my knees
So I roll on over
To see who's there
400 lbs
and orange hair
Face like a bad road
Built like a truck
Good gosh almighty
I musta been drunk
I wrote this on the marning after my 40th B-day party
There's several more verses and a couple in-between .. but you get the idea