[SoDak]

Most of those excessively mean people, I believe, are people who have no control in their jobs and are probably dumped on all day in their real life, and they save all that bile and throw it on people online, behind the warm comfort of their perceived anonymity. I used to post to a local board, and after putting two and two together I figured out that the bully of the forum was a co-worker I knew who was a meek milquetoast at the company.

[Aliska]

I don't know, but the internet brings out the worst in some people. In the beginning, 1997 I think it was for me, I met people who went way out of their way to help me find information, solve computer problems, etc. I will feel forever indebted to them. I spent countless hours contributing information free for people, copying old genealogy information and posting it, put up a free victorian postcard site for people who want clip art for their projects, and put an expensive antique e-book online complete with 40+ charming illustrations. Now I am afraid to promote it because people will steal the pictures and capitalize on all my hard work to make it free and wholesome for moms and kids. I've had people writing me from foreign countries thanking me for some of my work. It means a lot and is more satisfying than bickering. They are more like attack dogs if you show the least sign of weakness. Usually they just ignore me which is understandable on the net.

For the rest, it seems their real selves take over hidden behind their screen name personnas, the selves they don't dare show in real life. More than once, my primal urge has been to repay in kind; only once I got so mad at a poster on another forum that I called her the b-word and later apologized with the caveat that it was only partially sincere.

There are at least two people on this forum I wish would be banned, but I've banished myself instead, but not because of them. And they are not the ones who hurt me. I can't remember their screen names even because I guess I don't want to remember, but I remember the hurt.

Now I've broken my self-imposed taboo, but will try to stay in lurk mode and wean myself away from here. I'll work on my hobbies instead.

I'm pretty much a shut-in now, but I once had a real life and know what it is like to work with a bunch of people. I always tried really hard to get along with everyone, used to be very friendly, cheerful, helpful, self-effacing and outgoing, but there were some real rotten apples in my life. I am no longer the person I once was and doubt I can ever be again in this life.

I've been treated like s*** a lot in and out of the workplace, and I've tried very hard never to take it out on other people.

People in my world until the last 20 years or so generally didn't behave like what we are seeing now, and I don't know how to deal with it. And I'm not a pansy either. One time some big minority guy got mad at me because I was ahead of him in line and was writing a check. I can't remember what I said to him, it wasn't swearing or anything, but I didn't just lie down and take it. I was later warned that I could be shot for doing whatever I did. And the h*** of it is more than once I've let a minority ahead of me in line when I have a full cart and they don't have as much or have crabby kids, etc.

The bottom line is that I can feel as mean as anybody else, but I was just not brought up to behave the way some people do.

There are a few nice people here, but the other ones just get too nasty on a regular basis.