You look like you typed that post with a wag---wait, that doesn't work.
You should do what I do. Get a desk that has a retractable keyboard tray. Get a wireless keyboard. Move keyboard to desk above tray. Place food (in my case, right now it's homemade broc cheddar soup and lebanon balogna - another PA thing! - rolled up in a low carb tortilla) on keyboard tray. If you need to type, put food down and raise hands to keyboard on desk.
:)
it's homemade broc cheddar soup and lebanon balogna
triglyceride alert!