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To be added to or removed from the Amy's Place ping list, please notify me via FReepMail.
Good morning Amy and all... liked the poem from kitty (now departed)..tears... the graphic of the kitty on monitor is true for many of us I bet...TWO ARE ON MINE NOW
as I am more of a humor person than a poetry person, that will be my primary contribution here...
today's first:
A LETTER TO MY PETS
Dear Dogs and Cats,
When I say to move, it means to go someplace else, not to switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years--canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. Dogs and cats are better than kids ...they eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for college - and if they get pregnant, you can sell the children.
Out of the Mouths of Babes...
A group of children, aged four through eight, were asked to answer the question: "What does love mean?" Some of the answers are amusing. Some are rather earthy. Others show a wisdom far beyond their years. Some of the answers were:
Love is that first feeling you feel before all the bad stuff gets in the way.
When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toe nails any more. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.
When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth.
Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.
Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your french fries without making them give you any of theirs.
Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you don't yell at them because you know it would hurt their feelings.
Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.
Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is okay.
Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mommy and daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.
Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.
If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.
Love is hugging. Love is kissing. Love is saying no.
When you tell someone something bad about yourself and you're scared they won't love you any more. But then you get surprised because not only do they still love you, they love you even more.
There are two kinds of love: Our love. God's love. But God makes both kinds of them.
Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day.
Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.
During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.
My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.
Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken.
Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.
Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.
I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.
I let my big sister pick on me because my Mom says she only picks on me because she loves me. So I pick on my baby sister because I love her.
Love cards like Valentine's cards say stuff on them that we'd like to say ourselves, but we wouldn't be caught dead saying.
When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.
Love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.
You really shouldn't say I love you unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.
http://www.religioustolerance.org/love_is.htm