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What Your Drink Says About You (very funny)
funtimes.com ^
| 12/04
| staff
Posted on 03/15/2005 3:07:01 PM PST by pissant
Bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.
The results (female):
Drink: Beer Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to Earth. Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.
Drink: Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the butt. Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.
Drink: Mixed Drinks Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what she wants. Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. She'll send YOU a drink.
Drink: Wine - (does not include white zinfandel, see below) Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated. Your Approach: Tell her you wish Reagan had had four more years . . . Alzheimer's and term limits be damned.
Drink: White Zin Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually has no clue. Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...
Drink: Shots Personality: Hanging with frat-boy pals or looking to get drunk...and naked. Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but wait.
Then there is the male addendum .... The deal with guys is, as always, = very simple and clear cut.
Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get some.
Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get some.
Wine: He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image to help him get some.
Whiskey: He doesn't give two rats about anything but getting some.
Tequila: Piss off, all you wankers, I'm gonna go shag something.
White Zin: He's gay.
(Excerpt) Read more at funtown.com ...
TOPICS: Agriculture
KEYWORDS: alcohol; beer; zoinks
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Guinness: A man of the world
1
posted on
03/15/2005 3:07:01 PM PST
by
pissant
To: pissant
I may have to switch to a different wine. Or go back to beer.
2
posted on
03/15/2005 3:08:35 PM PST
by
Not A Snowbird
(Official RKBA Landscaper and Arborist, Pajama Duchess of Green Leafy Things)
To: pissant
Guinness: A man of the world Who wants to get some.
3
posted on
03/15/2005 3:10:08 PM PST
by
Yo-Yo
To: SandyInSeattle
4
posted on
03/15/2005 3:10:20 PM PST
by
pissant
(good steak!)
To: Yo-Yo
Guinness is a chick magnet....
5
posted on
03/15/2005 3:11:09 PM PST
by
pissant
(good steak!)
To: pissant
White zin. Now I'm going to go pout.
6
posted on
03/15/2005 3:11:59 PM PST
by
Not A Snowbird
(Official RKBA Landscaper and Arborist, Pajama Duchess of Green Leafy Things)
To: pissant
Drink: Wine - (does not include white zinfandel, see below) Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated. Your Approach: Tell her you wish Reagan had had four more years . . . Alzheimer's and term limits be damned.****************
Chardonnay, to be exact. A classic martini a couple of times a year.
I do wish Reagan had four more years.
7
posted on
03/15/2005 3:12:18 PM PST
by
trisham
To: Dashing Dasher
8
posted on
03/15/2005 3:12:20 PM PST
by
pissant
(good steak!)
To: pissant
Saw it....
I would have to agree with much of it.
9
posted on
03/15/2005 3:12:52 PM PST
by
Dashing Dasher
(Hard things are put in our way, not to stop us, but to call out our courage and strength.)
To: pissant
Does it count that I would drink chardonnay, if only it didn't give me a headache?
10
posted on
03/15/2005 3:12:55 PM PST
by
Not A Snowbird
(Official RKBA Landscaper and Arborist, Pajama Duchess of Green Leafy Things)
To: trisham
I'd take Reagan with ALzheimers over any Democrat I can think of (except maybe Zell)
11
posted on
03/15/2005 3:13:40 PM PST
by
pissant
(good steak!)
To: pissant
Dumb article pissant. Respect you more than this.
To: SandyInSeattle
No. Gotta live with the headache (plus its a great excuse..)
13
posted on
03/15/2005 3:15:11 PM PST
by
pissant
(good steak!)
To: AGreatPer
You musta missed most of my posts!
14
posted on
03/15/2005 3:15:55 PM PST
by
pissant
(good steak!)
To: pissant
I'd take Reagan with ALzheimers over any Democrat I can think of (except maybe Zell)***************
You betcha.
15
posted on
03/15/2005 3:16:05 PM PST
by
trisham
To: pissant
Ha!
Oh well, back to beer. I like shooting pool.
16
posted on
03/15/2005 3:16:09 PM PST
by
Not A Snowbird
(Official RKBA Landscaper and Arborist, Pajama Duchess of Green Leafy Things)
To: pissant
Whiskey: He doesn't give two rats about anything but getting some. I don't know whether to sue for libel or slander...or cutting the author in for a piece of the action.
To: pissant
Speaking of chick magnets....
I saw this unsightly fellow driving a Ferrari the other day.
He got out and geekily walked into the restaurant, severe comb over and all.
And I thought to myself.... there isn't enough $$$ in the world...
18
posted on
03/15/2005 3:18:13 PM PST
by
Dashing Dasher
(Hard things are put in our way, not to stop us, but to call out our courage and strength.)
To: Focault's Pendulum
We'll keep it under our hats.
19
posted on
03/15/2005 3:18:51 PM PST
by
pissant
(good steak!)
To: Dashing Dasher
I saw this unsightly fellow driving a Ferrari the other day. That's so wrong. There should be a test.
20
posted on
03/15/2005 3:19:16 PM PST
by
Not A Snowbird
(Official RKBA Landscaper and Arborist, Pajama Duchess of Green Leafy Things)
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