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What Your Drink Says About You (very funny)
funtimes.com ^ | 12/04 | staff

Posted on 03/15/2005 3:07:01 PM PST by pissant

Bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

The results (female):

Drink: Beer Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to Earth. Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the butt. Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what she wants. Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. She'll send YOU a drink.

Drink: Wine - (does not include white zinfandel, see below) Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated. Your Approach: Tell her you wish Reagan had had four more years . . . Alzheimer's and term limits be damned.

Drink: White Zin Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually has no clue. Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...

Drink: Shots Personality: Hanging with frat-boy pals or looking to get drunk...and naked. Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but wait.

Then there is the male addendum .... The deal with guys is, as always, = very simple and clear cut.

Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get some.

Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get some.

Wine: He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image to help him get some.

Whiskey: He doesn't give two rats about anything but getting some.

Tequila: Piss off, all you wankers, I'm gonna go shag something.

White Zin: He's gay.

(Excerpt) Read more at funtown.com ...


TOPICS: Agriculture
KEYWORDS: alcohol; beer; zoinks
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To: pissant

LOL I wish.

Pain pills for back pain today.


141 posted on 03/15/2005 5:39:39 PM PST by Neets
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To: mlmr

Good taste, though I prefer Glenfiddich slightly. And whiskey gives a gal a Kathleen Turner voice, which is not a bad thing. ;0)


142 posted on 03/15/2005 5:40:00 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
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To: samiam1972
Yikes! Better on a chick tho!
143 posted on 03/15/2005 5:48:02 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
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To: pissant

Woo-hoo!! There's the man!! ;-)


144 posted on 03/15/2005 5:49:53 PM PST by samiam1972 (Live simply so that others may simply live!)
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To: Neets

Oh no, not the dreaded "Do not drink alcoholic beverages when taking this medication" pills! Hope you feel better, & pronto.


145 posted on 03/15/2005 5:49:59 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
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To: pissant

Friday night is Martini Night.

Let's hope so!!!


146 posted on 03/15/2005 5:53:46 PM PST by Neets
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To: Neets

I'll toast your good health on thursday, St. Paddy's day.


147 posted on 03/15/2005 5:54:44 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
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To: pissant

Good taste, though I prefer Glenfiddich slightly

I like Glenfiddich too, but Glenlivet is more available here in Maine. Mmmmmm! That smokey taste. I don't drink often and it is a treat.

I used to drink vodka gimlets in the summer. Haven't had one in years. Just couldn't find the taste for G&Ts.


148 posted on 03/15/2005 5:56:11 PM PST by mlmr (Oh! I'm six months pregnant! Time to get Married and rake in gifts and cash!!)
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To: pissant

Thanks toots!!!


149 posted on 03/15/2005 5:57:43 PM PST by Neets
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To: Neets

Thanks toots!!!

That is what my grandfather, who looked like Dashile Hammet posing for the Thin Man, used to call my grandmother, the flapper.


150 posted on 03/15/2005 5:59:36 PM PST by mlmr (Oh! I'm six months pregnant! Time to get Married and rake in gifts and cash!!)
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To: mlmr

;-)


151 posted on 03/15/2005 6:01:04 PM PST by Neets
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To: pissant

I'm ordering a white Russian.


152 posted on 03/15/2005 6:03:58 PM PST by ValerieUSA
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To: ValerieUSA
Here you go Val...
153 posted on 03/15/2005 6:06:50 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
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To: mlmr

I know you're a chick, but try a cigar with your scotch. Great combo!


154 posted on 03/15/2005 6:09:28 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
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To: pissant

I know you're a chick, but try a cigar with your scotch. Great combo!

No the tobacco would be too much for me but I will need to buy some for home and give myself the occasional reward.


155 posted on 03/15/2005 6:11:28 PM PST by mlmr (Oh! I'm six months pregnant! Time to get Married and rake in gifts and cash!!)
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To: pissant

I know you're a chick, but try a cigar with your scotch. Great combo!

No the tobacco would be too much for me but I will need to buy of these kinds of scotch for home and give myself the occasional reward.


156 posted on 03/15/2005 6:12:08 PM PST by mlmr (Oh! I'm six months pregnant! Time to get Married and rake in gifts and cash!!)
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To: pissant

Thank you --- that was fast!
You're a good bartender.


157 posted on 03/15/2005 6:17:35 PM PST by ValerieUSA
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To: pissant

Oh, are his hands tied? hmmmm.... interesting.


158 posted on 03/15/2005 6:18:26 PM PST by ValerieUSA
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To: ValerieUSA

I bartended for 8 years, btw. I could write an even funnier "what your drink says about you" article, but I'd likely get banned. ;o)


159 posted on 03/15/2005 6:19:48 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
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To: pissant

send it freepmail .... I won't ban you


160 posted on 03/15/2005 6:20:25 PM PST by ValerieUSA
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