Male vs. Female ATM's
A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that his bank is
installing new
"Drive-through" teller machines. Customers using this new facility are
requested to use the below outlined procedures when accessing their
accounts.
Separate MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed after months of
Careful research.
MALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
3. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
4. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
5. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with
the
machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down
4. Find handbag; remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate
card.
5. Turn the radio down.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open the car door to allow easy access to machine due to its
excessive
distance from the vehicle.
8. Reinsert card the right way up.
9. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the
inside
back page.
10. Enter PIN.
11. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
12. Enter amount of cash required.
13. Check make up in rear view mirror.
14. Retrieve cash and receipt.
15. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
16. Place receipt in back of chequebook.
17. Recheck make-up again.
18. Drive forward 2 feet.
19. Reverse back to cash machine.
20. Retrieve card.
21. Re-empty hand bag, locate cardholder, and place card into the slot
provided.
22. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male driver
lined up
behind you.
23. Restart stalled engine and pull away.
24. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
25. Release Parking Brake