Lots of us have ended up with lives a lot different than we thought when we were jen's age and so sure what we were gonna do... through choices, dead ends and a few compromises, we pick up a few things and sometimes we drop a few things along the way.
I went to school to fly airplanes. And I was good at it too... but I ended up quite a ways down a different path and had to decide to keep going or head back. I am really glad I learned to fly, sorry it cost my parents so much money, and I still have the hope that I can get and stay current enough one day to just have a really cool hobby. But I can't picture myself in the life I planned, as an airline pilot. I'm different now.
Oh I know, I don't mean to be a downer about this. I'm not about to go out and buy a little red convertible (mainly because I couldn't get my fat@$$ into one), but then again I did buy a red truck...
I get tired of where I am sometimes (although there's potential for change). But I realize I've had an incredible journey in my career. And some of the places I've been and things I've been allowed to do can only be described as God's providence. I had eight incredible years in DC traveling the country and working indirectly with the White House, and CEOs from some of the major compaines in the US.
But along the way in my career, I've also escaped from a cult, survived cancer and two near fatal car crashes, survivived being fired from the same job ~twice~ and lived through almost losing my wife and child to high risk pregnancies ~twice~. So, I'm pretty grateful for where I am.
And, where I am currently is in a position that helps me pay the bills and support my family. It doesn't matter that I hate the job and would rather be almost anywhere else. I have obligations. And, for sure I get to do some fun stuff outside of that, particularly with the performing we get to do with the Music and Fine Arts ministry.
My need/desire for art and the whole creative process is not necssarily something that will make me rich or even support my family.
But it's something that's always been with me and that has been on a shelf for far too long. This is a re-awakening of that, and a realization that I shouldn't consider it gone. But I should find away to fit it into my life.
In my ~spare~ time.